But Dead Men Do

Posted on Wed 28th Jun, 2017 @ 1:30pm by Lieutenant Thomas Maynard & Lieutenant Commander Lanis Dhuro MD & Maia Dalton & Carlo Rienzi & Wyatt Keller & Purulence Addams

1,332 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Unity Week
Location: Queen Anne Villas

In a Starbase near the Triangle -- the area of space where the Federation, Klingon, and Romulan Empires met -- There was a park designed to look like the surface of one of the Federation's capital worlds, Earth. In that park was a housing area, with houses from a particular place and time in Earth's history, the end of North America's Nineteenth Century. Following along cobblestoned paths, with a simulated, pre-space, uncolonized Luna hanging overhead providing illumination, one came to the end of the block, and turned right.

In the street were well-padded chairs of many descriptions: leather library chairs, brocade loveseats, and even a chaise lounge or two. They were arranged in rough rows, their back to a dark and foreboding house, facing a wide white screen hung in front of the very, very dark woods. The screen was flanked by speaker towers which would have impressed the builders of Stonehenge.

In the center of the row closest to the screen was a gilded age sofa, on which sat two very unusual women. One was tall, with pale skin and long black hair, the other short, darkly complected, with matching black silk tresses. The tall one was unusually thin; the short one, unusually chubby. There was a space for a third person to sit, but at the moment, no one was in that space.

Chlamydia Addams stood in front of the pale screen, talking quietly to a young woman. The doctor wore what had been a smart skirt-suit in the mid-twentieth century: a black skirt with a kick-flap for walking, charcoal gray kitten heels that matched the color of her single-breasted suit jacket, and a white blouse, only the collar of which was visible. Somewhere in the distance, a clock tower chimed, and the young girl moved off into the crowd. Addams reached into the pocket of her jacket, then cleared her throat, the sound coming clearly through the cyclopean speakers.

"Good evening, everyone. Welcome to the first of two nights dedicated to the enjoyment of the Ancient Earth art form Film Noir."

"Forsooth! Dost thou grock my funky jive, me hearties?" a high-spirited attendee yelled.

"Oh, for pete's sake," Carlo muttered, wincing at the guy's mangled English.

Addams shook her head slightly, wincing at the mangling of vernacular English from different cultures and centuries. "We are starting the night with the classic Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and will be following that with Devil in a Blue Dress and of course, the timeless White Heat. A note: Two of these movies, due to the technologies available at the time they were made, contain no color images. Do not adjust your ocular devices, the creators meant for you to experience them this way."

Ischemia brushed her long black hair to the back of her ear and leaned toward her sister. In a hushed whisper, hardly moving her mouth, she asked, "Why does she invite the ignorant to her parties?"

"Haven't a clue," Purulence whispered back.

Wyatt lead Maia to a brocade loveseat near the center of the third row. The pair sat snuggled together and waited for the festivities to begin. The film noir genre was one of Maia's favorites. The couple had come prepared with hot buttered popcorn, one of Wyatt's favorite movie treats and a small cooler with several alcoholic beverages to share.

"You think Jasmine and Adam will show?" She asked Wyatt.

"Nah, this isn't Adam's style and I think tonight was the night he was going to pop the question." Wyatt grabbed a handful of popcorn and cuddled next to the woman he loved.

Jin-Kyung moved a little closer to her escort. "This is a wee bit spooky, don't you think?"

Anthony took her hand, a liberty he felt justified in taking since she'd moved closer. "Maybe a little, but ... say, look at those women in the front row. Could we have more than one Addams on Vanguard?"

Clasping his hand tightly, Quinn peered ahead. "I don't know, but I've not heard of any others. They do both have that darkness the doctor carries with her, though."

He nodded and guided her to the right, toward two old-fashioned library chairs which looked comfortable and were conveniently close together. "A little distance is a fine thing from things that go bump in the night."

Jin looked at him in confusion, but settled back ready to listen and watch. "I have no idea what this is about."

Still holding her hand, Anthony smiled. "You'll like it, trust me."

Thomas grabbed a seat in the middle. He made sure he picked a comfy looking one; after all, he was here to sit for a very long time. He was made aware of the events happening for Unity Week when he first got on board Vanguard and managed to highlight a view that he could muster a little bit of excitement for. This being one. He made sure he had bought his hip flask long, well hip flasks. Any event he attended either had alcohol being served, or he was bringing his own. He looked forward and looked at the strange looking people ahead. He recognized one as being the CMO, but hadn't had the pleasure, or displeasure, of talking to her just yet. He looked around for some more familiar faces, before deciding he didn't really want to socialize, so took a swig from one of his flasks and just waited for it all to start.

"What exactly is a black film?" Lanis asked Maynard, who sat to his left. He nibbled on a handful of Three P's snack mix that Carlo from Pub 10-42 had provided for the movie party and offered a bowl to Maynard. "Want any?"

Thomas didn't even glance to the right, but replied, "No thank you. And I would normally tell you to just watch and make your own judgement about it. But there is a constant debate about what it actually is. Is it a genre? Is it more of a visual style? Is it a mood in the film? And then some of them have certain traits within them which would class it as film noir, and some do not, but are still classed as film noir. All in all, I think everyone has their own opinions."

"And so," Addams said from in front of the screen, "with no further ado, I give you Steve Martin's Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid." She reached into her pocket again, and the screen behind her illuminated with a grayscale moving image. Quickly, she took her place on the sofa, on the opposite end from Ischemia.

The lights dimmed down, before Thomas leaned in towards Lanis and whispered, "Take this one, it is actually a 'parody' of film noir and I guess a homage to the genre, well if that's what you see film noir as. So are we truly watching film noir right now?" There was a reason Thomas had highlighted this event to come to.

"I would guess we're at least watching something that contains enough features of film noir to show me what it is," Lanis said.

Whatever it was, the setting--Old Earth, Lanis presumed--looked decidedly low tech.

"And many films within it," Thomas muttered under his breath, taking another swig from his flask.

*****
Afterward, Jin stood and stretched, a half-smile on her face. Anthony, too, rose from his chair, saying, "Well, what did you think?"

She chuckled and said, "Not quite what I expected, but fairly enjoyable. I still don't understand why saying 'cleaning woman' set him off, though."

Around her, several men stopped, snarls overcoming their features as they stepped toward her.

"Cleaning woman?" each snarled in chorus. "Cleaning woman?"

Quinn clutched Anthony's arm, only to discover the muscles were clenched as he, too, growled, "Cleaning woman!" and his clawed fingers reached for her throat.

Laughter filled the air, and one slap resounded.

Fade to black.

 

RSS Feed

Comments (2)