A Study in Hoo-mons

Posted on Thu 10th Oct, 2024 @ 11:32am by Sundae & Criswell Sandbags & Tessanna (Tessa) Valeri
Edited on on Sun 27th Oct, 2024 @ 6:27pm

2,254 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: The Phoenix Gamble
Location: Orchids & Jazz
Timeline: MD 2, 1930 hrs

-Start-

Ever since his employer Qaraq had purchased the establishment Orchids & Jazz, Criswell Sandbags, his executive assistant, had been hard at work trying to keep the place as much the same as it had been before the former proprietor, Jade Lantz, had left. Ms. Lantz had been kind to Criswell, which was unusual for most people. Criswell admired her in return, especially for her skills as a businesswoman.

It was night two of the restaurant's reopening, and the act for the night was a band called Jetta Tune and the Car-Tunes. They were rather raucous for a band describing themselves as "blues," and the Car-Tunes were not exactly the kind of act Ms. Lantz had booked very often, but with the place "Under New Management," as the sign on the entrance said, there were bound to be at least a few changes. One of the most popular had been an expansion to the dance floor, Criswell observed.

But free attendance? That was outrageous! Criswell felt with the amount of people here there should be a fee. Why waste the perfect opportunity for more profit? Qaraq had been steadfast, though, and over the year they had worked together, Criswell had found Qaraq to be a very competent businessman. Criswell was also aware of the mass wealth Qaraq had, and with his ulterior motive, his decisions made a strange kind of sense.

Now Criswell stood in back of the lively crowd, looking awkward with arms crossed and head slightly drooped, with his shifting eyes taking in everything around him, including the increasing amount of people coming inside. He glanced at Gary Thirteen working at the full bar, employed by Qaraq while stuck in this time and place. Gary's partner in time-traveling, a calico cat named Sundae, was behaving herself tonight, perching on a small open space behind the bar. Criswell smiled slightly as he noticed Sundae watching everything going on, a trait both of them had in common, and Criswell briefly wondered what the cat was thinking.

Tessanna didn't usually listen to jazz. Sometimes T'Vala, her boss, did, but the ambassador had gone on a trip with Krell and she only had to answer messages. She was supposed to do it every couple of hours, but there weren't that many and those had only required a reply that T'Vala would return in a week's time, so she took a few breaks. Besides, she was sure T'Vala would expect it of her.

She'd been to Orchids and Jazz a couple of times, but never alone. She was curious to see how the place had changed--if the place had changed. Plus they were letting people in for free to hear the band. It had been ages since she'd listened to a live band. So, jazz or no jazz, she decided to take another break and visit the restaurant for dinner. She dressed in her "little black dress" that wasn't so little because working for a Vulcan demanded a certain level of decorum. But it was a dress and there would be music, so it would do.

"Woah." Tessa hadn't expected quite so many people. She should have, though. Still, she was here and she was determined to stay for a bit. She looked around to see if there was anyone she knew.

As he watched the crowd, Criswell didn't notice that Sundae had left the back counter and headed toward the crowd. Criswell's eyes nearly popped out Looney Tunes style when he spotted her brushing up to a nearby red-haired man, who seemed to take mild notice, but was more interested conversing with the nice young lady beside him. Criswell didn't know the man, but he'd observed the woman, a Betazoid named Krianna Malderin, enough to know she owned a hair salon on the Promenade.

Criswell made a mental note to find out who the man was as he went into the crowd. Sundae was still toward the back of the crowd when Criswell caught up to her, and had seemed to stop next to a woman in a black dress, who Criswell recognized as the diplomatic liaison to T'Vala, a Vulcan Ambassador Criswell had encountered--briefly--a few weeks ago at an event in which Qaraq had been hired to cater. Unfortunately he had forgotten her name. Introducing himself might be a good idea, Criswell thought. After all, Qaraq had encouraged him to make new friends. Criswell thought of it more as "networking," but the sentiment was the same.

"Sorry about that. She likes making new friends," Criswell said to Tessanna as Sundae was scooped up without protest. Sundae tucked her head against Criswell's shoulder and Criswell gently pet her.

Say something else, he thought. Remember networking!

"I like your dress," he said after a beat. "Um, if you don't mind my saying so."

Tessa giggled. "I don't mind. Thank you." She didn't often get compliments and she appreciated them. Then again, as T'Vala's aide, she was supposed to blend into the background. "I also don't mind the cat. I like cats. Does she live here?"

Criswell's eyes darted nervously back and forth. "Um, I'm not entirely sure she lives anywhere. She seems to belong to my friend Gary, over there at the bar," he gestured to Gary Thirteen, "but Sundae is very independent."

Sundae began to squirm in Criswell's arms and he set her down. She went back up to the bar and sat at the edge, which Criswell had noted was her usual perch.

Criswell turned back to Tessa. "Don't you work for Ambassador T'Vala?" Criswell asked. "I think I've seen you before, but I don't know your name. I'm usually very good at that kind of thing."

"I do. My name's Tessanna, but I go by Tessa. I know it's unusual for a non-Vulcan to be an aide to the Vulcan Ambassador, but I like it. Well, most of the time. I don't like having to go to formal functions, but as long as the music's good, it's okay."

"A non-Vulcan working for a Vulcan ambassador," Criswell repeated. "My name is Criswell. I'm a hoo-mon who was adopted and raised by Ferengi, so I know what it's like to be unusual!"

"That does sound interesting. Probably more interesting than working for a Vulcan. T'Vala's great, but she does insist I behave to her standards during working hours." Tessa grinned. "At least I can be myself when I'm not with her."

Criswell lit up at that, and realized this conversation was a little more interesting than his usual interactions with people his race. His eyes began shifting back and forth, a behavior more Ferengi than human. "What kinds of things do you like to do?" he asked. Then his eyes went to the floor. "If you don't mind my asking... I-I don't really do a lot of hoo-mon things, so I'm trying to change that." He suddenly looked strangely ashamed, as if he'd broken some inane social rule by asking her.

"I don't mind." She shrugged. "Nothing interesting. I like music and dance. More folk music than contemporary, though." She cocked her head to one side. "What about you?"

"I'm not really sure," Criswell said. "I spend a lot of time working and observing. I've never really taken any time to listen to music or learn to dance. I read a lot of Ferengi business journals, but other hoo-mons seem to find that boring. Recently, I've become interested in different kinds of food. My father owns a famous restaurant on Ferenginar, so I learned a lot about cooking when I worked there as a child. I..." he hesitated for a second. "I also have always loved different kinds of stories. I've never actually told anyone that, though."

"I love stories. They can tell you so much about a culture. Well, that does depend on the type of story, but fairy tales and folk tales do." She smiled. "Music does that, too. But if you're interested in business, I can see why you'd read journals. Me, I prefer to read for fun, but I don't aspire to be anything more than an aide, so it works for me." She shook her head and laughed. "I also tend to talk too much. Sorry."

"Oh! No need to apologize!" Criswell said, now very animated. "I actually love to listen! I... don't really have a lot of conversations with people, so when I do it's exciting to hear what they have to say. You are very exciting! ...er, what I mean is, you have a lot of interesting things to say. Like, I don't know what's fun to read, for example, but you do! I find that fascinating! I wish I was as interesting as you." The last part didn't come out as pitiful or sorrowful as the words may have otherwise sounded. In fact, Criswell looked happy to say it.

That made Tessa laugh. "I'm not interesting. A little flaky, maybe. And I talk too much sometimes, but I'd hardly call that interesting. Ambassador Krell is interesting. He's the Klingon Ambassador and he has his own ship. He's also..." She stopped and giggle. "I'm not supposed to gossip about the ambassadors. T'Vala keeps telling me I need to show more decorum. Did you know the computer on the station has a huge library of books? Just tell it what you like and it'll give you a list. But you need to be specific and include the culture you want or you'll get some really odd titles."

"I don't really have time to read books," Criswell said. "But I'm interested by what you mean by 'odd titles.'"

Tessa giggled. "There's a book on 101 ways to prepare pig brains." She made a sour face. "I looked at three of the recipes and the look terrible. Did you know "Of Mice and Men," a famous book from old Earth is also a book about genetic similarities, a cookbook, and a very detailed book on anatomy. I've learned you have to give the title of the book, the author, and where the author is from. Even when I look up cozy mysteries, I have to state they're from earth in the 19th to 21st century."

"You read hoo-mon books?" Criswell said. "My father always told me hoo-mon books promoted corruption. He said many of them looked down on commerce and profit. The only hoo-mon novel I've read was one called 'Atlas Shrugged.' It took a long time. I'm not sure I liked it. Are there better books you could suggest? I don't mind if they're not about profit. I just want to know more about hoo-mon-ity. After living here for a few years, I've found that hoo-mons can be very different than the way my father described them. I love my father and I don't want to do wrong by him, but he always told me to seek knowledge, because knowledge is product."

"What do you like, besides profit and sales? Do you like adventure? Then try "The Three Musketeers" or "Pantomer's Journey." Mystery? The I'd suggest "Sherlock Holmes. Especially the original stories by Arthur Conan Doyle. There are at least a thousand books written by as many authors over the centuries. There are a billion fairy tales and retellings. Some are excellent and some terrible, so you have to see what people say about them first." Tessa grinned. "I could go on and on, but I won't."

Criswell perked up. "Oh! I like your talking. You say interesting things. Um, I have heard of the character Sherlock Holmes. I haven't read the stories. My friend Gary told me about them, because a new theater troupe is putting on a stage version of 'A Study in Scarlet' in the auditorium at Qaraq's Casino! I booked the performance myself! That's how I know about Sherlock Holmes." Criswell's eyes widened, and you could practically see the light bulb go on above his head. "It's next week, and on my day off. We could go see it together, if you don't mind being my friend. I don't have a lot of friends, but you seem like a fun person. Admission is free, but I'm sure the casino will make a profit off of concessions, so we won't have anything to worry about."

Tessa grinned. "I'd love to be your friend and I'd love to see A Study In Scarlet. I'm sure T'Vala will have something then. Probably with Ambassador Krang or some other ambassador."

"I hope it doesn't take you away from anything important," Criswell said. "Um, if it does, I understand if you need to cancel." He looked around the crowded room and saw a few new faces who had wondered in. "Um, speaking of that, I should get back to my work. Thank you for talking to me! Um, do you need anything? I can get you a drink for a reduced... er, on the house if you like..." Criswell was smart enough to know the difference between a "friend" and a friend. The former still pays. The latter does not... at least, not the first round.

"No. I'm usually free in the evenings," she said, looking around. "I'll just find a seat and listen to the music, if that's okay." She smiled at Criswell. "I will definitely see you for the play." Tessa was pleased that she had a new friend. She didn't do that often, mostly because she spent her days around ambassadors. It was nice, and she was going to enjoy that play.

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