The Voyage of Daggerbeard the Star Sailor (Fit the First)

Posted on Thu 12th Sep, 2019 @ 5:08am by Lieutenant Commander Andrew Eberstark & Captain Andrus Grax

1,043 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: A Diplomatic Affair
Location: The Parlor, Addams House, Queen Anne Villas, Tivoli Gardens

The business of tea and biscuits having been settled, and everyone having found a comfortable seat, Pubert Addams settled back in the buttery-softness of the leather wingback, the original of which stood in his own parlor in Sleepy Hallow. It was these little touches, he thought absently, that made Chlamydia's home such a comfortable place. He took a puff on his cigar, then placed it on the crystal ashtray beside him. "Gentlemen," he said at last. "Thank you for coming. I am at your disposal; would you like to begin with a tale, or with your questions?"

Andrew glanced at Captain Grax who only nodded in their host's direction. Readying his PADD to take notes, Andrew gestured towards Addams, "First off, we wanted to extend our gratitude again for you volunteering for this mission. Why don't you begin, and Captain Grax and I will interject as we have questions. Sound good?"

Addams nodded, picked up his cigar, rolled it in his fingers thoughtfully. "Where to begin?" he asked, rhetorically. "In the days of Harun al-Rashid, Caliph of Baghdad... no, no, that's too far back. And the Tuesday before last is too recent."

Smiling at the man, Andrew nodded, "Point taken. How about something more specific? Say your initial contact and infiltration of these pirates that have been causing Starfleet trouble?"

"You mean this time, of course, Lieutenant," said Gloriana. "Our family had previous contact with pirates, these and ... others. We knew when we set out to see our petites filles that there was a likelihood we would run into old friends."

Pubert nodded agreeably. "It's said that great-uncle Bartholomew Addams... well, not relevant, I suppose. At any rate, I first became aware of the situation when one of our freighters was taken, and I received a ransom note. Cousin Cookie volunteered to act as a go-between, and the next thing I knew, both the ransom and our Cousin had vanished into the greedy hands of the pirates."

"Can you define 'vanished'?" Grax asked, intrigued. "You knew the pirates had taken both your cousin and the ransom?"

"I knew that Cousin Cookie had checked in with Cousin Malice before the pre-arranged meeting," Pubert answered, replacing the cigar in the ashtray. "And that she had not done so after the scheduled meeting. Therefore, it was a reasonable inference."

Grax nodded but said nothing. While he agreed that it was indeed ‘a reasonable inference’, he wasn’t sure he would want to draw a definitive conclusion from one missed check-in. He did, however, also feel that this wasn’t the time to pursue that particular line of questioning further and so resolved to hold on to that thought until a more appropriate time.

"Really, inspecteurs de sécurité, what is it you want from us? We went because our family was missing. We found your pirates de l'espace, and delivered to you the facts. What is it now that you think we can tell you that is more than that?" Glory said, bored with all this questioning the same ground over and over. If they had a family member missing, wouldn't they also go looking?

"My darling Pubert has delivered you les mauvais gars. It is your job to do the rest, is it not?"

"Glory," Pubert said, his eyes smoldering with the feelings his wife always incited in him when she spoke French. He restrained himself, however, and after a moment, went on, "if the gentlemen wish to hear the story again, I am happy to tell it." He took another deep breath, picked up his cigar, and composed his thoughts.

"So. Things which we knew at that time. First, there were pirates. Second, our Cousin Malice was hunting pirates, though of course the details were classified. Third, Cousin Cookie had vanished along with a substantial sum of platinum-plate latinum. Fourth, the ships and personnel said latinum had been intended to ransom had failed to return. Therefore, being an Action Addams, an Addams of Adventure, I decided to take matters into my own hands. A few years before, I had acquired a small interstellar yacht as a present from a thankful business associate. Taking my glorious wife by the hand, I set forth for the frontier."

Grax thought for a moment as Pubert drew to a close. “I think,” he began slowly and slightly cautiously, “That the way to proceed would be for us to take a look at the cartography that you have, see what we can cross-reference with our own intelligence and see what, if anything, that turns up?”

He looked from Pubert to Glory to Eberstark, hoping that, if nothing else the commander would back him up. He would understand perfectly if the Addams’s wanted to push for a greater intel. share, but he figured he would start with a low-ball offer and see what happened. Either way, it was clear to him that they knew information that Starfleet would almost certainly find useful, and thus, he was determined to secure it one way or another.

"Ah," Pubert said, "but I have not yet reached the crux of the biscuit! The liver of the beast!" He drew on his cigar and then puffed forth a smoke ring. "Do you not wish to hear the entire tale?"

Grax was slightly taken aback - although, given what he already knew of the Addams’ family, he had no idea why he should have been. He sat back in his chair and raised both hands in apology. “Forgive me, for the assumption,” he said sincerely. It had seemed to him that that was quite enough excitement for one tale, but clearly he had been mistaken. “Of course I want to hear the whole story - do please continue.”

Awaiting to hear what was surely to be a long winded and yet somehow completely entertaining tale, Andrew noted on his PADD to come back to Grax's request for navigational logs of the journey. For now, he shifted in his seat to make himself more comfortable.

"You are the best of all storytellers, mon tendre," Glory said, smiling fondly at her husband. "Proceed, as we are all agog to hear your rendering of the experience."

 

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