The Risk You'll Have to Take

Posted on Sun 3rd Jun, 2018 @ 8:47pm by Commander Paul Graves PsyD & Lieutenant JG Kellian Michaels
Edited on on Sun 1st Dec, 2019 @ 11:27pm

903 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Brushfires
Location: Chief Counselor's Office
Timeline: Current

Kellian Michaels forced himself not to tap his foot in the waiting room of the Counseling Department. There was so much work to do in Security and not enough time to do it. Having to meet with Dr. Graves, which at one time had been an intense relief, was now becoming annoying. He liked the man well enough, but there were so many other things he could be doing at this moment.

"Lt. Michaels? Dr. Graves is ready to see you now," the Argelian petty officer announced.

With a grateful sigh, Kellian thanked her and let her escort him back to Graves' office.

The Betazoid counselor met them at the door. "Thank you, Deosha. Good afternoon, Lieutenant," he said and gave Kellian a brief, appraising look as PO Matav departed. "Come on in, and make yourself at home. You know where the replicator is."

One of the nicer things about the sessions was that Graves' office replicator was stocked with programming for a wide variety of non-alcoholic beverages. "Thanks," Kellian said and ordered a hot chai with cream, sugar, and cardamom. It came out as a fragrant, steaming beverage with a light foam on top that swirled about in his cup like a miniature galaxy. Despite his desire to be at his desk, there was something about the combination of steaming, fragrant tea and the counselor's comfortable sofa that always made Kellian want to sink down into the cushions and utterly relax.

"You know, I never realize how busy I am until I come in here and am suddenly not busy," Kellian remarked. He sipped from his tea and felt the tension he hadn't realized he was holding slip away from his body. "I don't know how you make the room feel like this, but you could bottle it, sell it, and retire off the proceeds."

"Don't tempt me," Paul said with a laugh. He sat nursing a cup of lemon tea in the chair perpendicular to the sofa. He too sipped from his mug and then set it down on the coffee table. "How are you doing lately? Have you heard anything from your father?"

"Yeah, he sent a letter last week," Kellian said. "I think I might go home to see him in a few months."

"How's he doing?"

"He's fine. His firm is organizing a charity golf tournament that he'll be playing in."

"That sounds like a rather public affair," Paul said. Considering what pains Lt. Michaels took to maintain his own privacy--and with good reason--it interested him that Michaels' father seemed to be branching out.

"It is if you're in that social set," Kellian said, "but not so much if you're outside it. There will be celebrities at the thing, so security should be quite good."

"I'll hope it is then and that your father has a good time," Paul replied. "Did your mother play golf, too?"

"On the weekends," Kellian said. "For her, it was just fun. For my Dad, it's networking."

Paul nodded, sensing not a flicker of unease from Michaels at the casual mention of his mother. When they'd first met, the mention of her had inevitably evoked a torrent of gut-wrenching sadness and remembered terror. "In the part of Betazed where I grew up, you negotiate business dealings in tea gardens, the idea being to convey that you are an honorable, hospitable person worthy of doing business with, rather than trying to one-up each other by showing how powerful your drive is."

Kellian chuckled. "I never thought of it that way. I don't think I'll mention that observation to Dad. I can see his raised-eyebrow look now."

"Has he ever spoken to you of remarryting?" Paul asked. "How would you feel if he did?"

Kellian shrugged. "I'm almost thirty, Commander, not twelve. If Dad ever wanted to remarry, that would be fine with me--but I don't think he ever will. Mom's car wreck took a lot out of him."

"I see," Paul said with a nod. It was the first lie Kellian had spoken during the entire session. At first, their communication had been almost nothing but lies that he'd had to use to work out the truth. "Understandable, given the situation. What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Kellian shot him a wry look. "I know where you're going with this. No, I'm not seeing anyone. I can't take the risk."

"Life is risk, Lieutenant," Paul told him.

Kellian shook his head. "Some risks are too much to ask someone to take."

Paul leaned forward in his chair. "So you don't ask, Michaels. You let them offer. If they think you're worth it, they'll be willing to accept the risk--and they won't take your 'no' for an answer. You don't get to decide for other people how much they're allowed to care about you."

Kellian stared at him. "I. Can't. Go. Through that. Again."

"Of course you don't want to," Paul replied and didn't look away. He wasn't about to accept "can't" as an excuse. "I pray to the Four Deities that you'll never have to. No one in their right mind would want a repeat of what you experienced. I'm not saying your fear is invalid, Lieutenant; it is quite justified. But if you want to live a full life--and I think you do--that's the risk you'll have to take."

 

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