At the End of a Long and Lonesome Day (Caretaker - Part V)
Posted on Sun 25th Mar, 2018 @ 1:09am by Commander Mikaela Locke
1,535 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Brushfires
Location: Orchids & Jazz
Timeline: The Day Drake Died - Late Evening
Mikaela Locke had no idea what she was doing in Orchids and Jazz.
She had a mountain of work to do - reports to read, revised rosters to approve - all manner of administrative tasks that came with the transition of command of the station from the recently deceased Horatio Drake to her. The problem was, she couldn't face any of it.
And so she hid in a small corner booth in Orchids and Jazz, hoping that no one would recognise her out of uniform. Her attire was casual but simple, black trousers and a black high-neck sweater. Her hair was loose, and she had allowed it to partly fall over her face, on the side that faced out on to the bar. She sat with the menu open in front of her, and although she was staring at it, she wasn't really 'looking' at it. Rather, she was focussing past it, her eyes blurring as she gazed aimlessly into the table; her mind full of everything that had happened in the last twelve hours...
...And how it should have all been so different.
Ms Lantz had watched the XO come in and take a secluded booth. She didn't think Jenna recognized her, but it was Jade's business to recognize everyone. She left her alone for a few minutes, observing her behavior. It seemed both trying to hide and wishing for something. Finally, the club owner decided to speak to her.
Jade slid on to the bench across from Locke. "Good evening, Commander." She slid a cup across the table in front of the woman. "This won't impair your faculties, but it may ease your tension. Tell me what I can do to support you through the changes that face you."
Mikaela looked up and smiled meekly at Jade. "Thank you," she said, nodding towards the cup in front of her. "I appreciate your support, but unless you can write my reports, review my rosters and manage a station of however-many thousand people..." She tailed off. The passive-aggressive tone had slipped out before she could stop it.
'Less than a day in and you're already biting people's heads off.' she chided herself. 'Good going, genius.'
"I'm sorry," she continued, "You... er... you didn't deserve that." She picked up the cup and glanced down at the green liquid within. "What is it?"
"A simple infusion of plant leaves, a tea if you like that term better. It's strictly herbal, things like lemon grass, spearmint, Passionflower. Truthfully, the calming effect comes as much from the act of drinking the tea as it does from the ingredients. The warmth helps, too. Trust me, this will lower your anxiety, even if it's only a temporary. It will give your mind a rest," Jade assured her.
"I can't write your reports or review your rosters, but, perhaps I can help with the management of a few of those people. I'm already the president of the merchants association for the promenade and Tivoli Gardens. We can work together with your people to lighten your load some. Think about it, and tell us what you need the most." She squeezed the XO's hand, then withdrew her own.
"For now, tell me about Colonel Drake. I only knew him from being here on Vanguard since it was re-acquired by Starfleet. I understand you knew him for far longer." She hoped that giving Locke the chance to talk about the man would help to ease some of her grief. Sometimes it worked that way with humans.
Mikaela nodded, as she sipped at the tea. "I first met him at the Academy," she began semi-reluctantly, "I was nineteen. He'd given a guest lecture on intelligence as a Starfleet career." She chuckled to herself, "Mostly the type that's designed to dispel the myths about it being glamorous and to put us off unless we were really prepared to put the hard work in. I answered a question in the lecture and somehow managed to impress him. He pulled me aside and told me that I had a future in intelligence if I wanted it."
She took another gulp of tea. "He's always kept an eye on my career. Occasionally put in a good word for me. Until lately, I always found him to be a consummate professional - strong, but kind. Brave, but never stupid..."
Her voice trailed off and she hurriedly took another sip of tea, deliberately avoiding eye-contact. She liked Jade - it was perhaps a little too early to say they were friends, but she appreciated both the El-Aurian's kindness and her wisdom. She hoped that their relationship would continue to develop, but now she suddenly felt very aware that, even in that small disclosure, had exposed more of herself that she would usually. But something about her deep green/grey eyes made her feel both incredibly vulnerable and perfectly safe, all at the same time.
"That's the man I thought I was coming to know. He was complicated, with a lot of layers to him." Jade leaned forward, and added, "But stupid, I don't think so. There was something else going on with him. Normally, I wouldn't say this," she shrugged slightly, "but he's gone, and the reason has something to do with what was happening in his head. We had a talk late one night. What he told me could have been considered, by some, to be drunken mumbling, but I don't think so." She searched the eyes of the officer in front of her. "Do you want to hear this?"
Mikaela reflected for a moment. Part of her wanted to put the whole sorry business behind her, but another part need to dig deeper. Perhaps it was a desire to absolve the man she thought she knew of the stupidity that got him killed - a desire to discover the there was more at play than had first been thought. Or perhaps, at a more fundamental level, it was her own desire to absolve herself of guilt for what had happened. She met Jade's gaze again and nodded.
Jade thought about where to begin. "He was in here on a regular basis, though I wouldn't say frequently. He normally came alone, and I would find a few minutes to sit and talk with him. He was, as you know, still grieving for his Patrick. I don't think one ever gets past that kind of loss, but he also felt as if it were somehow his fault. That makes it worse. Lately, he'd begun to speak of him as though they were still together, still communicating in some way. At first, I wondered if he'd indulged in real alcohol a little too much, but I've come to believe that wasn't the case. I think things changed after his experience on Bretagne. Did he speak to you of that?"
Mikaela shook her head. "No, he didn't, but..." her eyes glazed over a little, as she deliberately focused on the memory of the conversations that she had had with Drake, since she had returned to the station. "There were a couple of occasions where we would be mid-conversation and, suddenly, he would glance over my shoulder, almost looking past me, as if he was focusing on someone else." In that moment, she began to feel that a couple of the pieces of the puzzle were beginning to slot in to place - as far as it was from a complete picture, it was a start.
"You don't suppose, he was hallucinating?" she continued, returning her full focus to Jade, "Or..." and paused again as she could barely believe the words were coming out of her mouth, but anything was possible, "Or that he was actually seeing a spirit or ghost or some kind?"
Lantz shrugged. "I wouldn't discount either possibility, though he didn't seem to me to display the other symptoms that would go along with having hallucinations - no drug habits or nervous tics or disassociative movements. There have been other unusual events on Vanguard in the time I've been here and spirits, ghosts or whatever label of similar nature would be one explanation for them." She thought for a moment about the last talk she'd had with Drake.
"He never said as much directly, didn't tell me, "I'm seeing the spirit of my dead ... someone," but I had that same experience you've described of having him look past me, and a sense that he was communicating somehow with someone else. Or some thing else. Also, there were a few things he said which indicated he thought he was either under the influence of something nebulous which had been on Bretagne with him, or appeared since that experience. Keeping an open mind, I'd have to say it's entirely possible that he did have some kind of extraordinary experience with something from beyond our normal realm of possibility."
"I guess we'll never know for sure," Mikaela surmised. "Unless something shows up in the autopsy, who or what was..." she thought hard about the right word, "distracting Colonel Drake could well be a secret that he takes with him to the grave."