Out of My Mind

Posted on Mon 8th Apr, 2013 @ 2:00pm by Colonel Horatio Drake & Commander Paul Graves PsyD

2,125 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: http://sb109.sim-station.net/index.php/sim/missions/id/3
Location: Deck 83: Chief Counsellor's Office
Timeline: MD-05: 1245 Hours

ON:

Drake's mind was spinning - one could almost say that the officer lying in sickbay was a mirror image of Drake in so many ways... the difference was he had been medically tortured before he was allowed to die. He could feel an anger swelling up inside of him... a savage, instinctual and primal anger - it was one that he had only experienced once before and he wasn't sure he could control it.

A drink was certainly in order, he would go to Orchids & Jazz, buy himself a bottle of their finest whiskey and allow himself a taste before the main event tonight. However, once again his body was not obeying his mind... he found himself walking towards the Chief Counsellor's Office... this didn't bode well.

Walking into the brightly lit lobby area, he found a young, petite, blonde haired woman sitting behind a desk. "Ensign, is Lieutenant Graves in his office?" He inquired in an impatient tone.

"He is indeed, sir... but I believe he has a session in short order and..." Drake had already started walking towards the doors and had waved a hand up at the Ensign, instructing her to stop talking. He pressed the chime.

"Come in," Paul called out. Apparently, Petty Officer Witherpoon had come early. He was surprised, therefore, to see that the person entering his office was Col. Drake--and Drake's outrage scraped across Paul's mental shields like sandpaper rubbing against raw skin. His eyes widened. Paul tapped his combadge before even speaking to Drake.

"Marie, ask my patient if she'd be willing to wait or to reschedule, please. I might be a while." Paul turned his combadge off. Until he specified, he could not be reached by combadge now until his current 'session' ended; he would have to be contacted through his assistant or through the ship's PA system if someone wanted him.

"What in the world happened?" Paul asked Drake. "What's upsetting you?" Drake was not the sort of man to tread lightly with when he was openly agitated; subtlety was needed only when Drake tried to pretend that everything was all right.

"A Starfleet Officer is currently lying in Sickbay, his body mutilated... he was essentially tortured before his, no doubt welcome, death. Two more Starfleet Officers have been killed by a secondary explosion in forty-nine alpha and meanwhile we... we... are drinking coffee and having meetings about intelligence gathering from the section. I want to find out who did this, Paul... I want to find out NOW!" He was pacing up and down the large office, flailing his arms. He needed to get this off his chest.

Paul nodded, understanding at least some of Drake's emotions now, and got up from his desk to join him. "You're right. It does seem...obscene that we are going about our normal lives in the face of that much tragedy and horror." He paused and then looked back at Drake.

"What had been done to them? I saw the bodies when I first went in there with you, but I didn't get much more than a general impression of unspeakable tortures before Nyx removed the bodies. The psychic feel of the place was so bad that I couldn't stand to be in there for long."

Drake sighed loudly, as if mentally gearing himself up to go over it again in his mind, her perched himself on the side of one of the sofas.

"From what Doctor Nyx tells me, all the victims were being [i]modified[/i]. Genetic codes were being removed and added, implants were being surgically installed - as it stands there is no evidence to suggest that any sort of anesthetic was used; these people were in unspeakable pain" Drake rubbed his face, wanting this all to go away.

Paul went faintly green for a moment, remembering. "Yes, they were." He drew in a breath and slowly let it out. "I can't think of any medical reason to withhold anaesthesia for that purpose." He gave Drake a sharp look. "Are we still looking at just Dobbs for this, or do we have any other possible suspects?"

"Captain Dobbs is NOT a suspect, Lieutenant!" Drake raised his voice. "Just because he was assigned to Protector during some of the Dominion War, does not mean we can start accusing one of the most decorated officers in the service of crimes against humanity!".

Almost immediately he realised he was in the wrong, "Paul, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to raise my voice. It just... it feels like I'm caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea." He hated being sober.

Paul took note of Drake's outburst but didn't comment on it immediately; it was simply one more observation to be fitted into a means of aiding Drake in working through his stress at the whole 49-Alpha situation.

He nodded at Drake's apology. "It's all right, Ash--Colonel; I would never suggest leveling accusations at Captain Dobbs or anyone else involved in this horror without rock-solid evidence. Everything I have is circumstantial only. Whatever we accuse these people of has to stick. I want them put away for good!"

His own vehemence on that point startled Paul. "Sorry." He collected his thoughts. "What specifically upset you this morning?"

Drake sighed and once again rubbed his eyes, he supposed he had to tell someone and Paul was the best person. "I can't help but see the resemblance between the officer lying in Sickbay and myself - as if the similarities weren't enough, it now transpires that we were both part of perhaps the smallest division that the Marine Corps possibly has."

He paused and looked at Paul, "I'm scared Paul... not because of the fact that if I had been around then it may have been me... death doesn't scare me anymore... it's the fact, that I don't think I care. All I can feel is anger... nothing else."

"Anger at what, exactly?" Paul asked. "Is it anger at just the obvious thing--that these people were essentially tortured--or is it anger at something more? Because I don't think just this incident would make you feel as if you don't care about your own death."

It was something Drake had been hinting at ever since Paul had first met him. He had never addressed it directly, but it was time to now, since Drake himself seemed more willing to talk about it, at last.

Ashton stared at Paul... he was good... very good. He made a beeline for the replicator and ordered his usual, to Hell with the time. "Whisky, Irish... Large". Within seconds the glass appeared... in as many more seconds, half the liquid was drunk. The familiar burning sensation filled his chest as he turned to the Counsellor.

Slowly he moved to his desk and leaned against it, "I... lost someone... someone very close to me, nearly two years ago now. Their death was, essentially, my fault and should never have happened. He was taken away from me too early... it wasn't supposed to be that way." He steadied himself against the desk and downed the rest of the scotch, to fortify against the tears.

"My point is, that I had a chance to live my life with this person and I chose not to... I chose Starfleet. The poor bastard in Sickbay never got that chance." He hoped that would suffice the Counsellor's interest for the time being. It suddenly dawned on him that Paul was the first person he had ever told about this. If he were to tell him the story in full, he wouldn't know where to start.

"You're saying that you feel regret and feel that you discarded something precious when you decided to continue your Starfleet career?" Paul asked. "I also get the impression that you identify a lot with the Starfleet officer you found in that lab?"

His barriers were beginning to crumble... was this the time for it? It certainly didn't feel like it. "No, that's just it... I didn't choose Starfleet... I was going to leave..." He cut himself off and took a deep breath, regaining composure. Breaking down in the middle of an investigation like this was certainly not the right thing to do... it wouldn't help anyone.

"Indeed, I can draw some similarities between us - but mere coincidences. The main thing now is finding who was responsible for these atrocities" He stood and folding his arms. "Can you enlighten me with any psychologically traits or information about our perpetrators that may help us?" His voice had returned to normal and the demons were locked away once again.

And...the window has closed, Paul thought. He had known from the beginning that getting Ashton Drake to open up about himself would take time. At some point, Ashton wouldn't have a crisis to retreat into; maybe then they could talk honestly.

"Whoever was in charge of that lab would have to be someone who believes the rules don't really apply to him or her, only to lesser beings, though the person will go to great lengths to conceal his or her acts. " Paul said. "And the person truly would consider everyone other than him or herself to be lesser. Everyone else is just a tool of greater or lesser interest, but never truly an equal in terms of personhood. Since the person hasn't been found out after all this time, I presume intelligence and an ability to charm, to fake sincerity, to blend in."

Drake nodded at the revelations - as much as he didn't like Counsellors, he was always astounded as to their psychological input into investigations, such as this. "Would this person have been born of high standing, what with their views on everyone else being less than them?" He paused. "Or perhaps they've earned their position?" He knew what he was implying but didn't want to say it.

"No, this person is a sociopath; he or she could have been born into any level of society," Paul said. "As for earning the position--it's hard to say. Many of these people are too impulsive to achieve prominence in their chosen careers--or to even have careers as you or I would regard them. But if this person had a particularly strong sense of focus and drive, or a fascination with genetics, it's possible. Earth had its Joseph Mengele, its Delphine Lalaurie."

Once again, Drake found himself nodding. His head was down, "Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it" He spoke quietly, reflecting on what Graves had said.

Taking a deep breath he raised his head, "Is there anything else you can tell me that might be of some help, Lieutenant?".

Paul frowned as he thought about it. "This is someone who is very well practiced at hiding in plain sight--but his or her ability to blend in will be superficial. The more closely acquainted one is with this person, the more easily one will notice abnormalities in behavior or simply find this person not very likeable under the surface. If nothing else, most people will find the unconscious arrogance off-putting. In turn, the person we seek will not want others to get too close unless he or she feels they can be used."

"This person might donate money to a charity, for instance, but unless some particular group is his target, he or she won't devote actual time to caring for such people or listening to and sympathizing with them. The person will be callous to others' pain and may have experimented on animals in his youth. In the case of the person responsible for our little laboratory of horrors, I'd consider a history of animal torture to be quite likely. The person might or might not have a history of neglect or abuse in childhood."

He paused. "He'll react to things atypically from the way people around him do--until he takes his cue from them and conforms. He'll like flattery, but he chooses his associates, not the reverse."

Drake sighed, heavily - every word that Graves said pointed the finger more and more towards Dobbs... but there was still absolutely no evidence.

Once again he found himself nodding at having assimilated the interesting information, "Thank you Paul... " He wasn't sure what else to say, so made a beeline for the door. "Sorry for interrupting you" He said, almost as an afterthought before he disappeared back into the main office complex.

"Not a problem," Paul said to Ashton's back and watched him as the door slid closed. Then he picked up the empty whiskey glass and pondered it briefly as he returned it to the replicator.

OFF:

Colonel Ashton Drake
Commanding Officer
SB-Protector

and

Lt. Paul Graves
Chief counselor
SB-Protector

 

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