Personal Notes on Being Human, Stardate 70419.17
Posted on Sun 3rd Jun, 2018 @ 12:47am by Elizabeth Anderson M.D.
892 words; about a 4 minute read
It's almost what humans call 'the witching hour'. I'm sitting in quarters designed for a human, relaxing on a sofa designed for a human, thinking about things humans think about. Does that make me human? I'm attempting to keep this record in a very free-flowing thought style, as humans do. How much easier it is to be logical, to list things to do, or not to do, things done or things remaining to be done.
I never realized how many little decisions human biological lifeforms make every day. They seem to take them in stride, often doing them automatically, so that it didn't seem any different from the kinds of things I did every day. Yet, now, I see it isn't the same at all. I don't have to eat, but my system can convert food into energy, more efficiently than biological life forms, so that eating is becoming a habit, simply to fit in with others I see around me. In this one, seemingly simple task, so much time can disappear. Not only must one decide what to eat, involving thousands of choices, but where to eat it, in what company one will eat, how much to eat, how often to eat. Simply thinking about eating consumes a lot of biological entities' mental effort and time.
The same is true of what is appropriate to wear to any given function, on any given day. Sometimes, multiple changes of clothing are required in one shift-equivalent time period. I've always dealt with this to a certain extent, but most of my choices were narrowed by my professional role. To be human, one needs play clothes, casual dress, business dress, and something called dressing up. Apparently, one can't wear the same dress to work and then on a date that evening, or to attend a concert or play. And shoes, I don't understand the need to have so many pairs of shoes. Being a civilian, I can't adopt a uniform. Too bad, because that would save a lot of time!
There are many similar decisions which take up time that could otherwise make humanoids far more productive and efficient. Now that I'm an experiment, Experiment Number One, EMH, Fourth Model, I'm requested read: required to see how close to a functioning biological humanoid I can become. Since this goes along with my own inclinations at the moment, I'm making every effort to do exactly that. Still, the inefficiency of it grates on me.
I have stocked my replicator in these quarters with several menu options, more than I actually need, and when I have a permanent place, I'll have to add additional ones, things to feed guests. Apparently, being human involves having many friends, all of whom eat differently.
My clothing is almost as big an issue. I can no longer stick to one style, or one type, of clothing. This could become quite expensive in replicator credits, and that brings me to the most human thing of all, I suppose: finding something to do that earns credits so I can have the things I need for my experiment ... for Starfleet's experiment. Whoever thinks you can live on a Federation Starbase without money is wrong. Even members of Starfleet need replicator credits, and that's a form of money, since it's given in exchange for performance of duties. What I was given by Starfleet in return for my decade of service won't last long.
To that end, I've made an appointment with a real estate agent in Tivoli Gardens. I believe he deals mostly in the River Village, but that is fine for my purposes. There is a Romulan doctor who is settling in there, as well, and perhaps we may share information or consult about patients from time to time. I'm ill-equipped to understand exactly what is needed. In the past, I had either a Sickbay or a counseling office, including staff and equipment, all supplied by Starfleet.
Computer, pause record.
Computer, resume record with current time ... Stardate 70419.24
I had to think about that for a few minutes, consciously, with all my processing capabilities. I conclude ... no, I believe ... I can get away with imitating an office Starfleet has set up for me in the past. I'm not sure where I will find the equipment I need, but someone will know. I think I'll check with Jade Lantz. Really, I don't know anyone else. She seems competent, and she did invite Damion and me to return, and offered help, should we need it.
Computer, erase previous sentence. I will see Miss Lantz tomorrow night, and ask her advice about some things. By then, I will have seen whatever Mr. Oto has to show me. I'll have better questions. While I'm there, I'll eat something, I'll be very normal, very human. Whatever that might be. It means choosing a dress style suitable for the jazz club, and shoes to match. Do I wear my hair up or down? Should I curl it or keep it straight? How much scent is too much? Is it acceptable for a human female to go to dinner alone in a place like Orchids & Jazz? There's so much to learn, so much to research.
If I were humanoid, I think I'd have a headache right now.
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