Counselor Check In (part 3)

Posted on Sat 8th Mar, 2014 @ 11:46am by Lieutenant Zhara Rynn

1,019 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: http://sb109.sim-station.net/index.php/sim/missions/id/6

[CONTINUED]

[OLD]

[NEW]

Lys looked at the woman across the space from her. "and if I can't talk about it, what if I can't even think about it then what?" Lys felt suddenly overwhelmed she missed her husband but it was apparent that, time had started to heal that loss. This loss had a different feel to it. She woman closed her eyes and thought about the small clothes she had folded and had packed and then left behind and the feel of her husbands shirt the two seemed intertwined into one another. Lys suddenly dropped her head into her hands and sobbed quietly.

Zhara let her cry, sitting quietly, there to give the woman support or comfort, depending on what she needed.

Sophia walked over to Lys and sat down beside her. The dog brushed her nose against Lys' arm, then lay her head on the scientists' leg to offer her own version of comfort.

Lys continued to cry for long minutes, her sobs were from deep within and she let them all go. After a while they subsided and she reached out with a very shaky hand for the tissue that was on the table and blew her nose. Then she sat quietly for long minutes and looked at the dog who had its head on her lap. She was hesitant at first but it looked as forlorn as she felt and so she started to pet its head. Lys found that the motion was a tad soothing so she continued.

Sophia thumped her tail on the carpet, continuing to sit quietly beside the woman.

"I think that was far too long in coming," Zhara announced, her voice soft and warm. "Have you considered acquiring an animal for yourself?"

Lys shook her head negatively, her whole demeanor was quite quiet. Her thoughts did not dwell on what had happened but for once dwelt on some thing other then that. Her thoughts were of a place she had not been in a long time. It was a quiet soothing place. A place where she spent a great deal of time alone. A place she suspected she would visit soon and quite possibly never return from. The place where her loss was no longer the most prevalent thing in her mind. She continued to run her slender fingers through the fur of the animal.

Zhara watched the other woman closely for several moments, studying her body language and the expression in her eyes. "Where are you?" she asked quietly.

"Starbase Protector in your office Counselor, where should I be?" Lys asked quietly

"Your thoughts, Ms. Greystone. They were far from here. I asked you where you were mentally, not where you were physically."

Lys did not look up as she continued to run her fingers through the dogs fur. Her whole demeanor was startling still and quiet. "A safe place, Counselor. A place where no one screams. A place where it is always peaceful and quiet."

"We all need safe places from time to time," the counselor assured her. "You can visit on occasion, but you can't stay there."

"I do not know why not?" Lys said "Nobody cares if I am there or not. It is almost like being on this base. Just one face, amongst many. Almost invisible." Lys shrugged her slender shoulders. The science officer tilted her dark head slightly as she studied the dogs eyes.

"While you are indeed one face among tens of thousands, it is not true that nobody cares if you are there or not," Zhara assured her. "You are the head of science, no? You have a large staff that depends on you, a Commander who needs your expertise. You are crucial to the effective running of this starbase."

"No. I have not been privileged to have children," Zhara said. "But this is about you. Why do you wish to stay in that place? Why do you wish to escape the galaxy?"

Lys shook her head "Then I cannot for the life of me express any more of what I feel." The science officer didn't stop though it was if she could not. "It is a deeper pain, it hurts more then the loss of my husband. It is a emptiness that reverberates over and over and I don't want to feel it any more."

From the beginning of time, women have suffered because of their children. First, there is the pain of welcoming a child into the world. And sometimes, there is the agony of seeing one leave it prematurely," Zhara said. "If you allow yourself to heal, the pain will diminish, in time. And you will become stronger for having gone through the experience. What you must not do is hide from the pain because then you also hide from the healing." Lys' emotions were still raw, as if she had yet to begin the healing process. Zhara didn't want to push her too far, but the woman needed to understand that the pain would never heal if she kept running from it. "When the pain is new and it is so raw you can hardly breathe for the pain, then you can hide. But only for a short time. Before long, you will need to take that breath, to look for the sunshine and to step into the light and heal."

Lys swallowed the lump that started to form in her throat. Lys started to tremble as if she were deathly afraid or extremely cold. "I...I don't know if I can." It was all she said as she buried her face into her hands and sobbed again. She felt unmade.

Zhara watched her for several moments. "I think you've had as much as you can take for one day." She stood and put a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "You can sit here with Sophia for a few minutes until you regain your composure. I'll see you next week."

With a warm smile to the science officer, Zhara walked out of her office.

OFF

Lieutenant JG Lys Greystone
Chief Science Officer

Lieutenant Zhara Rynn
Chief Counselor

 

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