Ruminations

Posted on Sun 28th May, 2023 @ 11:14am by Makila i'Hartelhai
Edited on on Sun 28th May, 2023 @ 11:15am

820 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Neither Yours Nor Mine
Location: Makila's home- Tivoli gardens
Timeline: MD 5: 1600

Kellian. No, Kieran. His name was Kieran and he was in the federation's version of the same protection's that she'd benefited from as a young child. Was his situation that much different than hers? Would father have changed her name if he'd thought she would have been safer?

In a heartbeat, you know it. He would have done anything to keep me safe and I'm sure he would credit Kellian...Kieran's father with a great deal, to do what he did. What do I even call this man? I should ask him.

Her hands went through the familliar motions of making tea, and she didn't even consciously realize that she'd actually made tea until she was pouring it and scalding her fingers with the steam. Pain blossomed on her fingertips, and she absently ran her fingers over the regenerator that she had in the kitchen. A moment later her pain was gone, and her thoughts continued to spin in her brain even as she glared at the teacup. She inhaled the steam to savor the soft, herbal scent of her favorite tea and sipped it the beverage warming her. There had been a chill in the pit of her stomach for days. Since he'd left her to think on things. She'd done nothing but think on things, which was distracting her from her duties. More than a little, if she were being honest with herself. Makila found herself missing him terribly. His presence in her life, transient though it was was a deep source of comfort and well being to her. The fact that it was in jeopardy was intolerable to her.

Part of her wanted to be upset with his shared information. He'd left looking almost frightened and resigned. She bet that he was thinking he'd never see her again. Did she want to see him again?

Yes.

He'd lied to her. Straight to her face, for months.

He'd lied to her because he had to the methodical part of her mind replied to the accusatory thought. How much danger could he be in from the Irish Mafia if anyone found out about his background. Would his grandfather come and hurt him? The man had no compunction about hurting his daughter-in law. What he'd said and what he felt in their brief conversation had her reeling. She'd picked up on more than she'd expected and the dichotomy of the emotion/verbal sharing were influencing her in different ways. She ached inside, from the pain from what he was speaking of and it's residual effect on her. She offered a brief prayer of thanks to the Elements that her Unknown unnamed Betazoid father had given her the advanced tele-empathic skills she had. Maybe she should try to find her biological father, as it was more than possible that he was alive and well. All these ruminations about fathers, good and bad were making her wonder what kind of man had caused her to be brought into the Universe. She knew the man who raised her, and loved him more than anyone in the universe, but Kellian/Kieran made her feel things to which she was unaccustomed.

Makila wanted to ease his pain, to take the edge off of the fears she'd sensed but hadn't ever asked about. There were things that made him almost spiky with fear or remembered pain and that made him almost painful to be around. Sometimes...Elements how she wished he would just share with her. Share everything. His heartache, her uncertainty, his love of music and her appreciation of the little things she'd found living here on the base...to maybe more. He'd said he wanted to kiss her. She had been surprised at how deeply that statement had resonated within her, and she'd found herself wanting to kiss him. She found herself wanting to do much more than kiss him. Part of her wanted to give him all of his heart's desires, and share hers with him. And then, there was the idea of someday bearing him children- if they got that far. Makila found much to her surprise that the thought warmed her. .

I've never even considered that aspect of my femininity, in fact, I was actively avoiding the thought. How does one spare word from this beautiful man has me wanting to be all....maternal. I am NOT ready. He's probably not ready either, but we need to talk. I don't understand. How did I come to this? How did my feelings get so deep without me noticing?

Papa had noticed, and said something about it if she recalled his words. Darkness engulphed her as she pressed her hands over her e yes. Makila was giving herself a headache. Since she was thinking herself in circles, spirals with no end of their depth into her psyche. She needed to see him.

"Computer, Location of Lieutenant Michaels?"

 

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