I Want Real, Part 2

Posted on Thu 29th Aug, 2019 @ 10:50pm by Ignatius Collins
Edited on on Thu 29th Aug, 2019 @ 10:54pm

1,834 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: A Diplomatic Affair
Location: Front yard of Chlamydia Addams' Home, Deck 1554
Timeline: MD-4, 1415

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact." --William James

"Purulence! Purulence! Wait!"

Damn it, I'm so out of shape, Ignatius cursed silently as he took off across the park after Purulence Addams at a dead run. He'd told her he wanted real. Well, her fear was real. Her hopelessness was real. But why so much fear and hopelessness? It made no sense. The woman was a brilliant artist--famous, even. The world was her oyster. She had nothing to fear or to lose hope over.

"Purulen--Ooof!"

Someone slammed against Ignatius from the right and tackled him, knocking him to the ground and pinning him there in a very effective, professional way as Ignatius wheezed and gasped for breath. "Get off me, will you? I've got to find her!"

"I don't think so." Some guy with a black ponytail, who wore blue coveralls with a patch reading, 'Durant Repair Services,' peered at Ignatius out of cold, gray eyes. "Seems to me, the lady doesn't want you around. So I suggest you cool off, go home, and don't bother her ever again."

"Who died and made you God?" Ignatius retorted. "Let me up, and you don't have to be involved in this any further. You don't know what's going on; I do. It's not what you think."

"What I think is, she looks scared to death of you. Where I come from, we take out people who make women afraid. You're darned lucky I don't take a knife to you."

Ignatius sighed. "She is scared. I don't know of what. I was trying to find out, when some bozo tackled me." He gave the Durant Services guy a pointed glare.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," the man promised, and Ignatius believed him. He gave Ignatius a considering look. "I'm willing to let you up because you're not acting like a rapist or a jerk boyfriend. Back off, and leave the woman alone. Deal?"

"You know, I'd really like to not lie to you," Ignatius said after a moment. "I sense we're on the same side--but you're pissing me off. Let me get up, so I can go find out what's set her off. Please."

The man stared at Ignatius for several seconds before finally relenting. "All right. But I will keep an eye on you."

Ignatius let out a sigh of relief. "Feel free. And buddy? You're in the wrong job. You should be in station Security. Or police interrogation."

For a moment, amusement glinted in the other man's eyes. He gave a brief chuckle and shook his head. "Get out of here before I call them."

* * *

Purulence had to have gone home, Ignatius decided. It was on this same deck, and it would be the closest place she was likely to consider safe. That was good, because it meant he didn't have to run anymore, and maybe the stitch in his side would ease. Got to get some exercise machines for the Venuleia, he decided. Ignatius walked toward the Queen Anne Villas, rubbing his left upper arm where he'd landed hard on pavement. Why wasn't that Durant Services guy playing football? He'd make a great tackle for the Patriots.

At last, Ignatius turned down the street where the Addams home was and paused at the gate.

It didn't open for him. Maybe the family turned the thing off if they weren't expecting guests. Maybe it was keyed to let only family members in; that was perfectly sensible. Ignatius looked around for an intercom or doorbell but didn't find anything. "Hello?" he called out, feeling a bit silly. "Purulence, are you there? It's Ignatius. Can we talk, please? I just want to make sure you're okay."

By the dead tree in the yard sat Experiment Number Six Addams. The girl sat on a tartan blanket, with a tea set and several black birds of surprising size. "Mister Collins," she called. "Would you care to take some tea?"

Ignatius blinked at the girl, who he hadn't noticed at first because of the tree trunk. "Ah, all right. I'd love some tea. Thank you, Six. Is your Aunt Purulence at home?"

Two or three dozen small, black, beaked heads turned to look at Ignatius as one, their beady eyes gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. "I will tell you," Six answered. "Once you have paid the toll. Gate, let him in, please."

That was a lot of birds to be stared at by, Ignatius thought as he looked back at them. "Those are some beautiful ravens," he said as the gate opened for him. "Are the smaller ones crows or rooks?" he asked as he stepped into the yard. It never ceased to amaze him that this starbase was home to actual birds. Most starbases would not allow birds to just fly free.

"Crows," Six answered. She indicated a spot on the blanket, opposite her in regards the tea set. To the right of the spot she indicated, a Raven stood in front of a half-full cup of tea; to the left, a crow. "Allow me to present their majesties, Othin, King of Ravens, and Mórrígan, Queen of Crows." The raven, Othin -- Six had pronounced it with a hard th, as in the, rather than a softer pronunciation -- dipped his beak elegantly, but the crow squawked.

"It is not a matter of precedence," Six said to the crow. "It is a matter of etiquette. A gentleman is introduced first. I do not agree with the rule, but it is regardless the rule."

Ignatius carefully seated himself on the blanket where Six had indicated and inclined his head to the two birds. "I'm honored to meet Your Majesties," he said, not exactly pretending. Corvids were the most intelligent species of birds, and he did respect them.

The crow squawked again, ruffling her feathers but looking somewhat appeased. Six leaned forward and picked up the teapot, pouring into the forth cup. "Do you take cream? Sugar?"

"Mm, just one lump, please. No cream," Ignatius said to Six. He thought a moment. "I'm staying at a place in the Promenade called The Hangman's Noose. They serve afternoon tea there. If your mother says it's all right, would you like to be my guest there sometime?" He gave King Othin and Queen Morrigan a regretful look. "I'm not sure if they allow birds."

"I have no mother," Six responded, using silver tongs to add the requested cube of sugar. "Tell me, Mister Collins... as we sit here, beneath the Addams' family tree... what do you know of my family?"

Ignatius gave Six a puzzled look and then remembered her full name. His expression cleared. "You have someone who loves you as a mother loves her child," he said. "In fact, I'd say you have a whole family of them. As for what I know about your family..." He thought for a moment about how to put it into words. "You have grandparents--and I'm using that term in the same sense that I say you have a mother--who love each other very much. They are whimsical--Gloriana less so than Pubert." He paused. "Jury's still out on that, actually. When I met them they were pretending to be pirates. I'm only now beginning to become acquainted with them as they really are. While I can't say that I know them well, I like the people they've shown themselves to be." He thought a bit more. "You are all very close-knit. None of you are average or ordinary; you're all uniquely accomplished, and you're all comfortable in your own skin."

Ignatius paused. "Except for your Aunt Purulence. She sort of is, but she also isn't comfortable in her own skin. Purulence the artist is very comfortable with herself. So is Purulence the Addams daughter. But Purulence the woman? No. You are more comfortable with being an experiment than she is comfortable with being a woman who has feelings."

Why am I saying these brutally analytical things to this kid about her relative? Ignatius wondered, appalled at the candor of his inferences. But Six was looking at him with undivided attention, as if she understood perfectly what he was saying, on a very adult level, so he continued. "There's a common thread of unusualness that runs through all of you. My family has a little bit of that, too, but it's much more hidden in us. Aside from that, your family home is in New York--Manhattan, I think. Your family's probably at least as old as mine. I can tell you a lot about your family's business, but that really isn't about your family."

Ignatius let out a breath. "That was a lot more personal and intrusive about your aunt than I would ordinarily be--but when you asked, you seemed to understand, so I just went with it. I--I am sorry for intruding on her privacy like that."

"There is a townhouse in the Bronx," Six said, waving aside the apology. "But the family home is upstate, upstream along the Hudson river, in a town called Sleepy Hollow. Number One, Cemetery Lane. If you proceed to number two, you will find the cemetery itself -- a plot of land which contains the mortal remains of some seven centuries of Addamses.

"You have called us close-knit, Mister Collins. But this is what you absolutely must understand. Marriages promise 'until death do us part,' and that promise is often broken. But Family, sir... particularly my Family... is eternal." Suddenly, both the Corvid majesties threw up their wings and cried out, and both flocks took to the air, crying the alarm before dispersing to the woods across the cobblestone road.

When she could be heard again, Six went on, "to be an Addams, Mister Collins, is so much more than to be 'unusual.' When you're an Addams, you have moonlight in your veins; you feel a little chill. When you're an Addams, sir, you perceive the world in shades of black. You have to put a little poison in your..." the little girl glanced at the teapot before concluding, "day."

The Addamses are scoping me out, Ignatius thought, at once both delighted and perturbed. And why shouldn't they? The things he was feeling about Purulence didn't lead toward a one-night stand.

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, Six," Ignatius told her. "I only met your Aunt Purulence three days ago. She and I are both feeling things that don't make any sense to us, given how little time we've known each other. That's making both of us feel very cautious about each other, rather than drawing us closer together. Maybe I should tell you a bit about my family's background, so you can understand why I don't want to just plunge into obsessive love, no matter what I feel about your aunt."

To be continued.

 

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