The Mind of Morrigan

Posted on Tue 23rd Jul, 2019 @ 2:03pm by Lieutenant Damion Ildaran

1,546 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: A Diplomatic Affair
Location: Intelligence Department, Interview Rooms 1 and 12
Timeline: MD 2, 1615

Previously, on our episode, Morrigan Endrade was revealed as a fourth personality of Zelda Alegari, and she has demanded legal counsel. And now to see how that works out ....

When he glanced up from writing, Damion set his stylus aside and returned his attention to Morrigan. "Is there any sort of conversation that you would be willing to have with me without an attorney being present?"

With a shrug, Morrigan watched him, gauging all his reactions. "You spoke to Zelda about plants, and Destiny and Tanith kept you dancing to stay with them. What do you suppose you and I might talk about?"

"I would like to get some understanding of what your life has been like," Damion said. "But I suspect talking about it might be too painful for you, might be an invasion of your privacy unless I go very delicately, and might be best spoken of with a counselor, which I am not."

The current personality shrugged and looked away. "I'm not a stranger to pain. None of us is, ... and we've forgotten what privacy means."

She looked back at the investigator, speaking quietly. "Do you know that Zelda has a degree in botany? Her life was wrecked by the first scientist she called boss, and she's never gotten it back. Is that the kind of thing you want to know? You want to pick us apart, satisfy your curiosity about who we are and how we came to be. It won't happen. We're only a lab experiment for all the men we meet, and most of the women, too, but we are well bonded and will not come apart again."

"I haven't forgotten what privacy means," Damion said. "I'm curious about you, yes, but some things are simply none of my business, especially when you know almost nothing about me. 'Twould be a rather unequal exchange. If we become well enough acquainted that you choose to talk of them someday, I'll listen, as I hope you'll listen to me. Otherwise, 'tis not my job to dissect your mind. My purpose is to find whoever created that ring," Damion said with a glance at the secured container. "I and my department want to find that person and whoever he or she works with, root and branch. I expect it'll take years, but we have to start somewhere."

Morrigan thought about what he'd said. Maybe he was sincere. She had no way of knowing. She didn't know any of these people, and she was in their jail, being questioned, being watched. No doubt they had some kind of holographic program that allowed them to walk around her, watching her closely for every expression, every raised eyebrow or nervous twitch ... though she wasn't nervous, so no satisfaction for them there. The slightest of smiles lifted the corners of her mouth a millimeter or two.

"I will tell you the one thing I know. My contact is an Aenar. More than that, I don't know. Well, no, I do know one other thing. The men he works for is as conscienceless as he is, and will do anything to achieve their goals." As she said this, the woman shivered, almost imperceptibly. "I can't tell you what those goals are. I only saw the Aenar, and he didn't talk around me ... at all. He handed me sealed orders, and those orders ... dissolved into the air after I had enough time to read them. Now you know what I know."

"Then how do you know anything about the person the Aenar works for?" Damion asked.

"You really aren't a psychologist, are you?" Morrigan said. "To know the tool is to know the hand that wields it. The Aenar ... enjoyed what he did ... pain was his pleasure. People like that don't work for people like you."

"No, they don't," Damion agreed with a brief nod. "As for tools and wielders, I had to know your reasoning--and it's entirely logical. Did the Aenar put that ring on you or observe while it was done?"

Morrigan was silent, her gaze distant. She thought back to the time she had become. It was turbulent, troubled, pain-filled. She'd protected the others from all that, but she'd had no protection herself until .... Finally, she looked at the investigator. "I don't know. I can't tell you what you want to know. There's nothing there but a blank gray wall or mist or fog. I've come to believe you really might want to help us, but I can't tell you the answer to that. I don't know ... and the others don't either."

Damion nodded. "I suspect that might be a symptom of, 'Aenar, look it up.' Though, if he takes pleasure in others' suffering, I'd think he'd have kept the memory fresh. On the other hand, I doubt Destiny could function if she had to remember that. It's hard to be a charming distraction if you're terrified."

The woman laughed in genuine amusement. "You would know this how? You may have been afraid at some point in your life, but you still are not a woman who's been in fear of her life. I'll allow that you might have some distant empathy, however."

Damion let her be amused. "We can compare scars some other time."

She frowned, thinking, and then said, "You know, the Aenar might not even be aware that we are a conjoined personality. I don't know if that helps or not, but he treated all of us the same ... and I made sure that I was the one he dealt with, once I developed the skills. That was earlier, rather than later, but I can't give you a time frame. We hadn't clock or calendar available."

"He's a telepath. I don't see how he could not be aware of it," Damion said. "The four of you are quite strikingly distinct from each other." He paused to listen to conversation in his earpiece from the Observation room. "So tell me, why would the Aenar give you sealed physical orders in person when he could just upload them to an e-drop-box with a self-destruct code for you to pick up by a later time? Why connect himself to you and expose himself to identification by directly giving you something--even if it did self-destruct after you read it?"

For a moment, Morrigan appeared confused. "I haven't explained this very well. Let me back up. We were kept in a locked medical facility. Don't ask me where, I don't know. We were drugged going in, from what the others think, and coming out from what I know. The man spoke to us all the time, but he didn't tell us anything. Do you see the difference? We were all in the same room for hours a day ... or maybe we were in and out of consciousness so often, with no time recognition, that it seemed like hours and days on end."

A medical facility? This was sounding uglier and uglier. "Yes, I see the difference," Damion said. "People talking without saying anything meaningful. Keeping you disoriented so you wouldn't know how to fight back or feel as if you could, if I'm understanding you clearly."

The woman thought back to that time, but she couldn't say it plainer than that. She simply didn't know. Just like she had no recognition of the ring being put on her finger ... in her finger? Whichever, however. There was no memory of it. "We were ... being trained, I suppose you could say. You would know better than I. Could he put things in our mind that we wouldn't remember until he wanted us to?" She shook her head, not waiting for an answer, and sat up straighter.

"When there were orders, it was different. Orders came in a sealed envelope, as I've described, and were handed to us. Also as I said, we read them and they ... crumbled away to nothing, not even crumbs in our hands. Why? I don't know. We were right there. He ordered us around all the time. I can't give you answers I don't have. I wasn't inside his head ... he was inside ours."

Morrigan wasn't about to relive that crawling sensation, the times when it literally felt like spiders were rushing about inside their brain. She shut off the memories before they could take hold of her. Destiny wanted out, but she held her in place, a soothing thought telling her it was too dangerous, that all would be well soon.

Closing her eyes, Morrigan felt exhausted. "I'm so tired," she told the man. "So tired of it all."

"I would be, too," Damion said with a nod. "Thank you for speaking with me, Ms. Endrade, and for dredging all that up. It was clearly not pleasant for you, and I am sorry for having to take you there. I'll discuss the attorney with my officer in charge and tell you what he says."

"I take it we're finished for now, then?" the woman said, opening her eyes again. "The quiet of my cell seems very attractive at the moment."

"Yes, Ma'am, we're done for now," Damion said. "You get some rest, and we'll start the pot cooking."

 

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