Personal Log: Biting the Bullet
Posted on Mon 12th Jul, 2021 @ 2:01am by Purulence Addams
806 words; about a 4 minute read
Well, I have done it. I've enrolled myself in an online university to pursue a human resources degree. Classes start at the beginning of next month.
Part of me wants to just curl up in Ignatius' arms and tremble with fear that I will fail miserably.
The other part of me says, "Oh, stop being such a ninny! You're an Addams, aren't you? You are more. Do the work, and take that degree by storm!"
There are times I could wish I were a drinking woman--except that hard liquor tastes terrible. Yech!
I have to keep in mind why I want to do this. I have a talent for seeing into people. There is more that I can do with it than just art. I could actually be helpful to people--help them hire the right employees, help them avoid dangerous romantic partners, maybe even consult for law enforcement. After all, I've done that before.
That leads me to the other reason why I want to do this--to prove to myself that art isn't the only thing I am capable of succeeding at.
One problem I foresee with this HR degree is that--I can do it naturally. Because of that, all the other things that I need to learn already feel tedious. They felt tedious when I read over them in my degree plan. Yet I must learn them. So I will have to fight the urge to avoid the tedious and scary subjects. I have to tackle them full bore.
Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?
* * *
On to other news. Chlamy's been keeping to herself lately, and Six has been acting odd--nothing I can put my finger on, exactly, but she pays a lot more attention to the people around her than she used to. Anywhere we go outside of the house, she always looks around, first. Not sure what's up with that. Ischemia's been wrapped up in new law cases, now that Zelda's case is finished.
Ignatius is working full-time, now that he has a ship, and he's been going out in it a lot, surveying. I miss running with him in the mornings. He's moved out of the Noose and has taken an apartment on the base, which he's given me the security code to. I think that's an extremely huge hint that he wants me to move in, but he hasn't said so. When it comes to sharing living space, I'm afraid I do need an engraved invitation. Even when I came out here to visit Chlamydia, I at least asked first, before planning to stay more than a month.
Art to Do:
I've decided I want to paint a portrait of the Vargas sisters. I also want to paint portraits of several of the people in Brown Sector--Haksin and Lexy, Kya, Andak, and Neone--who still will only let me paint her hands. They're beautiful hands, but the rest of her is beautiful, too. She's been busy, though, starting up her herbal products business.
I'd also like to paint Renato, but sometimes when I look into him I see reflections of myself in parts of him, and it's uncomfortable being aware of our mutual pain. There are times when he is as frightened of things as I am, and my own insecurities are more than enough for me to deal with. I don't want to take on his, too. I like him, though. Just when I think he's a basket case, he suddenly smirks and does something mischievous with one of the Brown Sector kids, and that makes me want to laugh out loud. I feel that he's had a rough time, but he's also delightful, and I love that.
Speaking of Brown Sector--these screaming ghost things I've been hearing about. What are thay?! I almost want to drag Chlamydia down there to maybe do a séance, but you never can predict when the apparitions will appear. I don't want to waste her time, and I don't want her to be hurt by them, either.
Oh, and another portrait I want to paint--this woman I met on the Riverwalk. I used to think Lt. Ildaran looked intense, until I met her. Those eyes! In a way, a little like Zelda's Scary Guy, but cleaner. Scary Guy is dead inside and vile; Stalker Lady is not. I'd trust Stalker Lady with my life. I wouldn't trust a cockroach's life to the Scary Guy.
And lastly--I've been invited to 'audition' to paint a portrait of Commodore Suzuki. I was quite surprised to be asked, because presumably Starfleet has in-house portrait artists who are a lot less expensive than I. We'll see whether she likes my work; I have an appointment with her next week.
And that's all for now. I'm off for a cup of tea before bedtime.
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