71740.89

Posted on Mon 28th Sep, 2020 @ 5:43pm by Elizabeth Anderson M.D.
Edited on Tue 29th Sep, 2020 @ 3:16am

288 words; about a 1 minute read

Personal Log.

Engage Security Protocol EGA File 13 Secure:

Many things tend to puzzle me. I don't completely understand humans ... or biological beings from Terran planets, at least. Bajorans, for instance, are much easier to understand. Even Vulcans, with all their suppressed emotions are easier.

In spite of that, the person closest to me is someone from a Terran colony, Turkana Four. In spite of all of that, the person I seem to be changing into is someone similar to a Terran. I find this confusing.

I don't know what to do with my feelings yet. They aren't completely developed. I am struggling with what I think Earthlings (I don't even know what to call them!) term empathy. I find humor relatively easy, as well as pity and compassion.

What I really don't know what to do with are the feelings Damion causes in me. It isn't always the same from one time I'm with him to the next, and some of the feelings make me uneasy. I wonder if it's love that I feel, but I don't see how we would ever make a relationship work because at the end of the day ... I'm not human.

I can function as a human 95% of the time, be indistinguishable on a good day. Still, I'm not a biological life form. There would never be little chubby-legged, brown-eyed boys tagging after Damion, or little blond-haired princesses climbing into his lap for a story. My observations and research tell me that is where the kinds of feelings I have lead biologicals. I can't go there, so what do I do with the feelings? What do I do with Damion?

Life was easier before I knew what feelings are.

End Log.

 

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