My Mind To Your Mind...

Posted on Thu 25th May, 2023 @ 8:47am by Commander Paul Graves PsyD

1,247 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Neither Yours Nor Mine
Location: Paul Graves' House
Timeline: MD:01 - 2035 hrs.

"That, as always, was delicious."

Mikaela Locke sat her knife and fork down on the rustic plate that Paul had served her homemade vegan lasagne on, and pushed the plate slightly toward the middle of the table. It had seemed like an eternity since they had eaten dinner together at the beautiful home he had created in Tivoli Gardens. For all that she had been avoiding him since her return from leave, and their slightly awkward encounter at Orchids & Jazz, she had missed him.

She'd also missed just how comfortable these surroundings made her feel. It was almost like she belonged there. What she hadn't quite worked out yet, was if she felt she belonged there because of the nature of the house - its location, decor, warmth. It was almost the complete antithesis to her quarters on Decks 27 & 28, luxurious as they were for starbase quarters. They were one of only two Starfleet-assigned suites to be situated over two decks, the other being the CO's. The alternative was that she felt she belonged there specifically because it was Paul's house. As she mulled this over, it occurred to her that the way the conversation proceeded during the evening might go some way to helping her answer that question.

Paul smiled at her. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's been ages since we last had a meal together. I've missed it. I've missed you." He put the dinner plates in the sink and brought out dessert, which was two crystal dessert bowls of tart, yellow sadi fruit chilled and garnished with mint. The consistency was similar to Earth peaches. "I thought chocolate cake or a pie might be too heavy after the lasagna, so I decided to try this, instead. It's a fruit from Betazed."

"Looks amazing," Mikaela said, pulling the bowl that Paul had placed on the table a bit closer to her and picking up her spoon. "Is it a custard tart, underneath the fruit?" She poked at the tart with her spoon - not in a suspicious or disapproving way, more out of sheer curiosity.

"It's a lemon syrup foam," Paul said. He picked up his spoon and used it to cut into his piece of the fruit and scoop a bit of the foam into his mouth. "The first time I ever ate this dessert was at a restaurant in Rixx. I'd never heard of culinary foam, but I ate it up like it was candy. Ever since then, I've admired the unknown genius who came up with the concept of dessert as a palate cleanser."

Mikaela smiled in response and took a scoop of her own dessert and put it in her mouth. "Hmmm..." she said, her eyes widening, her mouth still full. "That is amazing." She swallowed and picked up her glass of wine and raised it briefly in a faux toast, "Cheers to the unknown genius."

Paul laughed. "Cheers!" and raised his glass in return. "So what do you think of Captain Navarra, if you've had more than five minutes alone with her?"

"I'm not sure yet," Mikaela replied, in between spoonfuls of tart. "I think we were both playing our cards quite close to our chests. But, I get the impression she reads people well; a good negotiator. Not sure how much of a military leader she is - but, for this assignment, that might not be a problem."

"Why?" Paul asked as he swallowed a spoonful of fruit. "I mean, why be so reserved? In what way do the two of you threaten each other?"

"As far as I know, we don't," Mikaela replied before pausing to consume another spoonful of tart, "But that's just the point," she eventually continued, "I don't know her yet." She pausing again, reflecting for a second. "I just don't trust easily," she concluded, "I think trust has to be earned."

"There is something to be said for earning trust," Paul agreed, "especially from a new CO. Taking into account all people being individuals, would it help you to trust the training, at least, until you can learn to trust her by getting to know her?"

"Indeed," Mikaela replied, "I've got no reason not to trust her, and, as long as they're sound and legal, I'll follow her orders. The other stuff will take a bit longer, that's all." She consumed the remainder of her tart and returned the spoon, very delicately and precisely to the bowl. "Talking of trust being earned," she began again, cautiously, as she pushed her empty dish away from her, "There's something we need to talk about."

"Did I leave the toilet seat up again?" Paul asked. He knew that wasn't the real issue; she was distracted by some other concern of far more import than the toilet.

She gave a hint of a smile. He was trying to put her at ease, and she appreciated the effort, but it wasn't working. "No," she said, "it's not the toilet seat. Besides," she added, "it's your house, you can do what you like. No..." she continued, steeling herself. "The thing is, Paul... I'm losing my memory." She watched him, carefully, wondering what his initial reaction would be.

Paul blinked. "You're--you're what?" Mikaela was a tad young to be going through early-onset dementia, though it was possible. She didn't seem that alarmed, though, more like disquieted. "You have eidetic memory, right? So being unable to remember something must be quite a shock to you." He thought about it. "How are you doing? Realizing that must have shattered your world."

"It has," Mikaela replied, and he finally felt the depths of her fear. "I don't really understand what Dr. Addams said is wrong, only that it's gradual, and I will likely wind up with the same sort of memory as the average person." She grimaced. "I don't know how to be average. I've never been average. I've never not had the answer to something right at my fingertips, once I'd read or learned about it. I--I don't know what to do. How do I function at my job, Paul?"

Paul pulled Mikaela into his arms. "You will have the memory of an average human, which is good enough. Average humans function just fine. Much of Starfleet is run by humans and other beings of exceptional character but average physiology and neurology. You can still function, just the same as any average-human XO ever has. You are still exceptional in the ways that matter. Flawless memory isn't one of them. That's just icing on the cake. So now you're a cake with no icing. Maybe not as fancy anymore, but still delicious."

"Delicious, eh?" Mikaela smiled at Paul with a glint of mischief in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him, savoring the feel of his lips on hers for what she realized in that moment would be the last time.

Because she couldn't stay. Everything in her urged flight. She could see him sensing her shift in mood and knew she had to get away from it. He would make her face too much; he would always feel everything she wanted to hide.

"Mikaela, there is no need for you to run," Paul said in a low, soothing voice. "I love you as you are. You have nothing to fear. Just be."

"No...I--I can't," she whispered. And then she was out of his arms and gone.

 

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