Letters from Home

Posted on Mon 18th Oct, 2021 @ 3:10pm by
Edited on on Sat 14th May, 2022 @ 6:51am

506 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: A Good Day to Hunt
Location: The Addams House
Timeline: MD-9, 1600 hours

In the music room, Chlamydia Addams was carefully putting away the Red Viola in the centuries-old carrying case which had come out of a replicator thirteen years before. "You are making progress, my dear," she said to her child. "I was particularly taken with how realistic the screams in section three were."

"Thank you, Aunt," Six said, replacing her own cello within its much newer -- even if only going by appearance -- case. She paused before saying anything further, noting the family's Zeta Reticulan spider enter the room with an envelope balanced on its stumpish wrist. "Mail's in," the girl commented.

"Thank you for lending a hand, Thing," Chlamydia exclaimed, leaning over to take the missive.

Thing, however, had other plans and evaded the long, thin fingers to approach the younger Addams. "Oh," Six said, "for me?" She accepted the envelope and glanced at the front. "Experiment Number Six Addams, Esq." She frowned slightly. "Can girls be esquires?"

"It's the mid-twelveth millennium of the Holocene Epoch. Girls may be anything they choose to be," Chlamydia responded.

Six nodded agreeably, examining the envelope. "Heavy linen. Fountain pen. Dragonsblood ink." she held it to her nose. "Faint wiff of cigar smoke." She smiled, the expression lighting her face in a way her Aunt's visage had likely never reached. "It's from Pop-Pop!"

"Save the stamps," Chlamydia instructed. She held up a finger. "If you intend to read it, we should retire to the reading room." The pair walked out of the music room and down the hall to Chlamydia's office, where they settled in comfortable chairs and the elder Addams produced a letter opener, handing it to the younger.

"Thank you," Six said politely. She inserted the tip into the envelope and carefully sliced open the end, pulling forth two sheets of stationary. Six handed the letter opener back distractedly and began reading. "Pop-pop sends his love."

"Only a small piece, I hope," Chlamydia responded. "Otherwise Mother will miss it."

Six looked up. "Is that a joke inappropriate to my age?"

"Possibly. Possibly not. It's in the nature of a quantum uncertainty witticism, I suppose."

Six accepted the equivocation and turned her attention back to the letter. "He says that Ms. Alegari has settled in nicely, and is taking night courses at SUNY Sleepy Hollow. And Cousin Huet has been denied parole again."

"Again?" Chalmydia exclaimed. "Such a travesty! Everyone knows he didn't do it!"

"His lawyer screwed him," Six observed.

"Experiment Number Six Addams!" Chlamydia gasped. "I would have you remember that you are an Addams, a young lady of good breeding! Only under the greatest provocation should you use such language!"

"Sorry, Aunt Chlamyia," Six said, sounding properly chastened. "What should I have said?"

"If you must reference such unfortunate events, you might say that his lawyer had failed him," Chlamydia responded.

"Noted," Six answered, returning her attention to the letter. She made a mental note to try out the line about being screwed by a lawyer again, with Aunt Ischemia. That would be most illuminating.

 

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