Post-Traumatic Stress / Pre-Stress Trauma - Part II

Posted on Sun 25th Aug, 2019 @ 12:30am by Commander Paul Graves PsyD
Edited on on Sun 25th Aug, 2019 @ 7:04am

971 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: A Diplomatic Affair
Location: Counselling Offices, Deck 83
Timeline: MD-04: 1534 hours

Previously...

Jason offered a weak smile. "Thank you," he said, quickly wiping away at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I guess it hadn't really occurred to me that I'd not really had feelings like that for anyone since Mikaela."

Paul started to comment and then pretended it was a yawn. He and Mikaela were still trying to keep things discreet between the two of them. "Popular name," he said. "The XO here is a Mikaela--Mikaela Locke. Have you met her?"

"Um... Yes," Fisher replied, slightly confused by the counsellor's question. "That's who I mean..." Then he shook his head, as he realised what he'd done. "I'm sorry," he continued quickly, "There's absolutely no reason why you should know that. Mikaela and I were together for ages - we've known each other since we were both at the academy." There was a slight bitterness in his tone now. "Not that you'd be able to tell from the greeting I got when I arrived the other day."

Paul blinked. "You've known Mikaela for that long?" Had she ever mentioned a Jason Fisher to him? Paul tried to remember. It was entirely possible that she had, but he couldn't recall.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly seeming distant, “Nearly a decade.” He chuckled to himself, as if recalling a memory, but didn’t say anything further.

And now...

"I'm sorry," Fisher said, suddenly snapping back to the moment, "What did you ask?"

"Just how long you'd known Mikaela Locke," Paul said. "I've only known her for perhaps a year and a half, since she came here while Col. Horatio Drake was the base CO. Apparently they knew each other back at the Academy, I think. Or maybe they'd served together; I forget." He paused. "I'm sorry you got the cold shoulder or whatever when you arrived. It's always awkward meeting an ex. You never quite know how to act."

Fisher smiled, a slightly ironic smile, "Indeed," he replied, without further elaboration. "But, you're right," he continued, changing the subject slightly, "We did know Colonel Drake from the Academy. He was a guest lecturer for one of our intel. modules. Captain Grax was another. They both identified pretty early on that she had a special talent. Not just her memory," he clarified, "But the way she was able to apply that gift to intelligence work."

"I would be interested to see that," Paul said. "I've only known her as the XO here, so I've never had the chance to see how she does intelligence work."

He let out a breath, which began to stretch into an odd pause. "Commander, before we go any farther in this topic--and before it gets any more awkward--I must disclose to you that I'm seeing her--not as a patient. You might not feel comfortable continuing to speak with me because of that, and if you wish it, I will assign a different counselor to work with you."

Fisher paused and took a deep breath, eyeing the counsellor up carefully. "I'm sorry," he said, the pause in his voice suggesting that he was attempting to process the information that had just been disclosed to him. "You're saying that you and Mikaela are... dating?"

Some deranged part of Paul wanted to intentionally misunderstand Fisher's attempt to orient himself to an unexpected reality and wanted to burst into helpless laughter at Fisher's words of apology; in a way Paul couldn't explain, he understood them perfectly. But he restrained himself. That wasn't difficult, given how gut-punched the guy felt. Four Deities, Mikaela, why did you break up with this guy? he wondered, stunned.

"Yes," Paul said, "for a couple of months."

Fisher didn't respond for some time, instead, staring past Paul as if the counsellor wasn't really there. Eventually, he looked back at him. "So, this would be, what you people describe as, 'a conflict of interest?'" he asked. His tone was soft but unmistakably colder than before.

"I would describe this as 'awkward,'" Paul said in a wry voice. "You have to be able to trust me to put your best interests first in sessions. If all you're really thinking is, 'This is the SOB who's seeing my girlfriend,' I won't get very far with helping you. And I am damned sorry about that, Fisher, because I would like to help you."

Fisher sighed heavily. “I’m sorry,” he said, realising that his attitude had touched a nerve with the counsellor. He had tried to get a rise out of Graves, and he had succeeded, but it hadn’t made him feel any better about the scenario, nor would it help his own situation in the long term. “For the record,” he continued, “she’s not been my girlfriend for some time. And we’ve not been in contact since she was posted here. That said...” he continued, slowly, wondering whether or not to own up to the fact that he wasn’t exactly ‘over’ her, “That said, perhaps it is better if I’m assigned to a different counsellor,” he finally concluded, unsure whether he wanted Paul to pick up the implicit message behind his words or not.

"There's nothing to apologize for," Paul said. "What you're feeling is perfectly understandable, and I'd feel the same way if our positions were reversed." He turned slightly and began tapping on his PADD. "Lt. Lettie Guillory is my second. She's very good, and she has been working with one of the families whose daughter was in the tram derailment a few days ago. I honestly can't recommend anyone better on my staff. If you're interested, I can transfer your file to her."

"I think," Fisher said slightly resigned, "That that would be a good idea."

 

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