You Can't Go Wrong with Pizza

Posted on Tue 11th Apr, 2017 @ 1:28pm by Lieutenant Commander Lanis Dhuro MD & Carlo Rienzi

574 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night
Location: Scents of Love, Promenade
Timeline: After the protest march
Tags: dhurolanis, carlorienzi

"How can you call this an Earth Italian place and not serve pizza?" Lanis demanded of Carlo as he sat at the bar in Pub 10-42. He had gone there after suturing up the last of the protesters, and for once, hasperat would not do. "I'm in the mood for flatbread, tangy, red sauce, thin slices of greasy sausage, and gooey cheese! Where can I get that?"

Carlo shook his head. "Trust me, Doc, you can't make proper Neapolitan pizza without a very hot, wood-burning oven. The starbase fire code on that alone would cost me an arm and a leg to modify for, along with the quarterly air quality inspections and the price of having real wood shipped here. I looked into it when I bought this place. I figured I could have either a bar or a pizza joint. The bar was much simpler. Could I interest you in a Prosciutto e Provolone panino, instead?"

"I don't need wood," Lanis said. "When I was in med school, I ate replicated pizza all the time. It tasted great! Sort of like a meat-laden hasperat that wasn't rolled up. Really, I'm a man of simple wants. Can you just...bake a flat round of dough, and throw some meat and cheese on it?"

"Replicated?! Madre di Dio!" Carlo winced. "Just for that, I wish I could make you a proper pizza so you could know what you've been missing all this time. Tell you what, I'll see what my chef can whip up. If it works out, maybe I could offer individual-sized pizzas as bar snacks." He seemed to brighten at that idea as he pushed through the swinging doors that led to the kitchen.

He reappeared a surprisingly short time later with a pizza about eight inches in diameter, laden with pepperoni slices and melted pale yellow cheese whose name Lanis couldn't remember, and the Bajoran ale Lanis had ordered.

"Here you go. Tell me what you think," Carlo said.

Lanis waved away the utensils that Carlo offered him and simply bit into a slice of the pizza. His eyes widened. He chewed slowly, noticing that Carlo was grinning at the surprised expression on his face. "How did you get the crust...fluffy but flaky at the same time? Usually, it's tougher than this. And it tastes so buttery! It's weird, but I like it. What did you do?"

"I tossed it, for one thing. Brushed it with olive oil, for another. Lay it on a baking stone, and voila! Replication doesn't even come close."

"Whatever you just said," Lanis replied through a mouthful of pizza. "Is this how it's supposed to taste?"

"It's supposed to taste even better," Carlo told him. "You're still eating replicated pepperoni, which is a sacrilege, but it'll have to do for now. The dough, at least, is real. So, not bad for an experiment?"

"Not bad, at all," Lanis assured him. He shot Carlo a mischievous look. "One does, however, have to ensure that the experiment is repeatable. Maybe offer it as a special for a week, to see if people like it?"

"For a pizza Philistine, you drive a hard bargain," Carlo said. "But yes...I think we can try this out."

"Excellent!" Lanis swallowed more of his ale and then wiped his lips with a napkin. "What's a Philistine?"

Lt. Dhuro Lanis, MD
Chief of Surgery

Carlo Rienzi
Owner, Pub 10-42

 

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