Took Him Long Enough

Posted on Sat 25th Jun, 2022 @ 9:57pm by Purulence Addams

1,672 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: The Hunted
Location: Addams Family Home, Queen Anne Villas
Timeline: MD-1, 0700 hours

Purulence hummed under her breath as she re-entered Chlamydia's home after her morning run. She slid her fingers lovingly over the harpsichord as she passed it. I am going to miss this place, Purulence thought as she went upstairs and stepped into the sonic shower. She preferred water, but it was early morning and she had breakfast to make. There was no time for an indulgent cleansing.

I feel like cooking Japanese food today, Purulence decided. Tamagoyaki, a rolled omelet, and okayu, Japanese rice porridge, were tasty and easy to make. She put rice and vegetable stock in the rice cooker and then began scrambling eggs. By the time her family came down for breakfast she also had toast with red bean paste ready and tea brewing.

"Good morning!" Purulence said to her first relative to come through the door.

"Teeeeaaaaaaaa....." Experiment Number Six groaned, her arms held out in front of her as she lurch-shuffled forward, headed in the direction of the replicator panel. On her head Thing extended its middle and ring fingers in silent, quivering sympathy with its young friend.

Purulence couldn't restrain a giggle. "You know, you could have real tea, brewed with tea leaves and stuff. I can pour you each a cup."

Almost stepping on Six's heels, Ischemia came in and set her briefcase on a chair at the table. The case was, perhaps, an affectation, being obsolete and unnecessary, but she liked it, and it did serve to keep her more organized. "I'll take you up on that, but make mine lemon grass. I definitely don't need nerves jumping during the meeting I have with a base prosecutor today." She ordered orange juice, high pulp, cold from the replicator, reached for it and took a long drink.

"What's got you zombied out this morning, Miss Six?" she asked, sitting down next to her briefcase.

Six took a long, slurping sip of tea from the cup Aunt Purulence had poured her, and tilted her head quizzically, causing Thing to grip her hair more tightly with all its fingers. "Is that right?" She sounded as if the question were rhetorical, and after a moment, she went on, "We're all unmarried, so the eldest would be 'Miss Addams,' except Aunt Chlamydia is a physician, so she's 'Doctor Addams,' which makes Miss Addams you, Aunt Ischemia. So, yes... Aunt Purulence would be 'Miss Purulence' and I'd be 'Miss Experiment Number Six,' but the only time anyone uses my first two names is when I'm in trouble, so...." she took another slurp of tea.

"Slurp your tea like that again, Miss Experiment Number Six, and you will find yourself in a very culinary type of trouble." Chlamydia was last to arrive, and she kissed Purulence's cheek with a murmured word of thanks as she took a slice of the rolled omelette on a plate.

"What kind of tea would you like?" Purulence asked Chlamydia as she set lemongrass in to steep before serving it to Ischemia. She poured herself a cup of bracing Earl Grey, added stevia, and took a sip.

Chlamydia picked up the pot of Earl Grey as well, murmuring, "Thank you, Miss Purulence." She poured and remarked, "Though, under the English Regency's manners you were describing, Miss Experiment Number Six, one not of the family should not use our given names exclusively, so my youngest sister should rightfully be 'Miss Purulence Addams'. At least, until someone gets around to recognizing her manifest grace, charm, and superior breeding and making her Mrs. Somebodyorother."

"Would that be a certain someone?" Purulence asked as she savored her steaming tea and gave Chlamydia a speculative look.

"Wouldn't do you any good to marry me, dear, your name would still be Addams." Chlamydia sat next to her child and looked to her middle sister. "Presuming we could even find a solicitor to post the banns."

"We wouldn't need a solicitor, would we--just a vicar?" Purulence said. "Not that I've seen any vicars on this starbase."

"Don't look at me," Ischemia snickered, adding sugar to her lemon grass concoction. "I'm neither up on those times, nor into banning things."

"The Banns," Six announced seriously, "are a declaration of intent to be married, Aunt Ischemia. We are reading Susan in Language Arts."

"Jane Austen's famously unpublished third novel," Chlamydia noted, then, seeing her sister's reactions, "What? I do have a degree in classic literature; I'm not only a physician!"

"And I believe," Six went on as if Chlamydia had not interrupted, "that the certain someone being referenced by Miss Purulence Addams is, in poignard of fact, Mr. Ignominious Collins. I further believe that this reference to a man who cannot see the manifest truth before his schnozz was understood by all the Misses Addams here present."

"Ignominious." Purulence snickered. "He's recognized those things," she added as she seated herself and savored her steaming tea. "They being manifest and all."

After a sip, almost burning her tongue, Ischemia asked, "Is that your way of making an important announcement, little sister?"

Purulence cleared her throat and set her tea down. "Well, er, yes. I suppose." She broke into a smile. "Ignatius asked me to marry him last night, and I said yes. We haven't set a date yet, since we both have families to talk to. We'd like to marry here on the station, but we know that might not be practical. It would likely be more considerate to everyone's bank accounts for us to marry on Earth--or to marry here in a small ceremony and then visit our relatives on Earth afterward." She glanced at her sisters and niece. "What do you all think?"

"I think bank matters should be taken into consideration, but I thought the Collins' coffers were overflowing," Ischemia said, finishing her omelet and pushing the plate away.

"I suppose they are," Purulence admitted. "It seems crass to even talk about it, but true, neither of our families would have terribly much trouble getting here. Hanging out in Brown Sector has made me more aware of the cost of things."

"One of the injustices of poverty is that it is not just a restriction of income, but a restriction of opportunities," Chlamydia observed.

Purulence nodded. "I agree."

"But Pop-pop makes a killing in the markets, so our opportunities are unlimited," Six followed up, her mouthful of eggs garbling her words slightly.

Chlamydia frowned at her child, but ignored her manners as she went on, "As much as I would enjoy seeing the whole family again, I can not afford two plus months away from the station. Earth is far away both in distance and in time required to travel that distance. If you decide to go home, I count on you to hire a competent videographer for the event."

"I can afford the time!" Six opined, her mouth now free.

"It would be an educational experience," Chlamydia agreed.

"I think that decides it, then," Purulence said. "I am not getting married without all of you being there. Ignatius told me that his parents could get here with no difficulty; it's just that some of the rest of the family would find it inconvenient. Not all of them are in the shipping business." She turned to look at Experiment Number Six. "I'm going to look for a wedding dress during your term break. In the interest of the wedding being an educational experience, would you like to come with me to pick something out?"

"Come where?" Six asked, as Thing helpfully scratched her head to indicate puzzlement.

"Sokel's Illogic, I think." Purulence said. "I've wanted a dress by him for a while, and why not have it be my wedding dress?"

Rising to her feet and carrying her dishes to the recycler, Ischemia said, with a little snark, "For that, one of you better have plenty of shekels ready."

"Shekels are Israel," Six responded absently. "England in the Regency would have been pounds sterling. 'Bob' as it were, though I am confused as to why money is my uncle." Glancing around and finding no one had any useful thoughts on that matter, she moved on, "Sure, Aunt Purulence, let's go buy your trousseau... and perhaps some Ho Gear for later."

"Just the wedding dress; I have enough other clothes. And then your other aunts will have to come with us sometime so I can pick out bridesmaids' dresses." Purulence glanced at Six. "But this is just an invitation, sweetheart. If dress shopping would bore you to tears, you don't have to come."

"Someone has to ensure you don't end up in a flying squirrel kigurumi," Six retorted, getting up to follow Ischemia with her dishes. "Might as well be me."

"Unless," Chlamydia said from the table, "you were to acquire a moose kigurumi for Ignatius."

"No kigurumi for me, thanks," Purulence said. "What is Ho Gear?"

Six shrugged. "When we were getting off the tram yesterday, Yucholl said, 'I can't wait to show you my new ho gear.' And Aiko said, 'Baby, you can weed my garden anytime.' So I guess it's clothes for planting seeds?"

Purulence choked on her tea. If she blushed, no one knew. "Yes--er, seeds! Of a sort. I don't think I'll be needing that kind of clothing. Well...maybe a nice peignoir. I do like silk."

Ischemia shook her head slowly, amazed at the morning discussion which was, after all, rather typical of Addams family breakfast. As she picked up her briefcase, she said, "As interesting and educational as all of you are, I believe I need to get moving on the day. Maybe we can work out more wedding details at another exciting family meal."

 

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