Three-Hour Tour, Part 1

Posted on Sat 28th Nov, 2020 @ 3:22am by Purulence Addams & Ignatius Collins
Edited on on Sat 28th Nov, 2020 @ 3:26am

1,168 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Denouement
Location: FMV Nameless Grace
Timeline: MD-Just before Halloween

Previously, in the adventures of Ignatius and Purulence...

Breath left her, so she could only stare, wild-eyed, as Ignatius recited the Byron poem to her. This wasn't some nervous teenage boy speaking the words as his voice cracked. This was an adult man who clearly knew the poem well, loved the words, and understood not only what he said but how to say it--and meant everything he said.

Her universe spun. The sound of the last word floated on the air and died away into silence, leaving Purulence feeling lightheaded and so deeply mesmerized that she had to claw her way back to reality--except she didn't really want to.

"I--I..." Purulence sucked in air and struggled to collect her thoughts. "Ignatius, I am an Addams. My heart is anything but innocent."

Ignatius draped an arm around Purulence's shoulders and hugged her close. "I will welcome you and your heart any way you care to offer them."

---

My strings are unstrung, Purulence mentally sang in a daze. She felt delightfully hollow inside, as if her universe had flipped inside-out, and Ignatius was the only real thing in it. She brushed her lips against his, and then they melted into each other as if they had both been craving this moment for their entire lives.

Ignatius came up for air first. "Dearest, I could do this all afternoon, but, sadly for us, someone has to keep the ship on course."

Purulence sighed against his chest. "You don't have autopilot?"

"'Fraid not--for this. That's something I only use for very calm, stable situations. An ion storm's heading our way, and I'm not about to risk being distracted in case something unexpected crosses our path."

Purulence eyed him with a sultry look. "Much as I would love to distract you for a good, long time, I can wait until we get back to the starbase."

"I would so love to be distracted," Ignatius assured her. He settled into the pilot's seat and gestured for Purulence to take the co-pilot's station. "Want to learn how to steer this thing?"

"You would trust me with your new ship? You are nuts! A ground-car and a shopping cart are the only things I've ever steered. Oh--and a motorcycle."

Ignatius gave her an interested look. "You own a motorcycle?"

"No, it was Henry's. But I did learn to ride one."

"The former ex-boyfriend?" Ignatius paused. "Wait a minute--"

Purulence's eyes widened as she realized what she'd told him earlier. "No, not former ex! Current ex! Decidedly ex! You have my permission to deck him, remember?"

"Just checking," Ignatius said and squeezed her hand.

He began showing Purulence the instrument panel, how to make the ship pitch, yaw, and turn and how to tell if it was staying on course or drifting off course. "The communications panel is here. It's pretty simple to operate, but you need to stay within the civilian bandwidth, which is indicated by this part of the screen...."

"I'm pretty sure I need a license to steer this thing..." Purulence said.

Ingatius nodded at her. "Yes, you do--a Level Two license. Interested?"

Purulence swallowed bile. "Ah...Ignatius, I'm terrible at studying. I really, really am. I couldn't hack college. I could barely hack art school--not without medication."

"Tranquilizers?" Ignatius guessed.

She poked him with her elbow. "Very funny. Quadrimethylphenidate."

"Is whatever condition you have contagious?"

Purulence gave Ignatius a wry look. "My sisters never caught it. They were fine--went through law school and medical school with flying colors. The only thing I've ever been able to concentrate on for more than five minutes is painting."

"And yet you run a business, know how to host parties, play the harpsichord, and are an all-around awesome woman."

Purulence sighed. "Ischemia and Chlamydia are planning the party--mostly Ischemia. I'm the social butterfly. If I tried to plan a party, it would be a mess. I'd leave it to the last minute and then run around like a crazy woman, trying to get things done that I should have completed weeks before."

"Ah." Ignatius considered her for a moment. "So what you need is a planner, and then you can follow a plan--I'm thinking one step at a time, so the enormity of the whole big task doesn't melt your brain?"

Purulence gave him an uncertain look. "I...guess?"

Ignatius leaned back in his seat. "Well, here's the deal. I'd like to be able to take you out in this ship--just the two of us--pretty often. I really think I would like to stay out here on 109 and not return to live on Earth, except for brief visits. But if I'm going to take you out in this ship a lot, it would be much safer if both of us were qualified to pilot her. Would you be willing to learn to pilot her, so we could do that?"

He wondered if she realized how much of a deer-in-headlights look she was giving him.

"Uh...This ship can do warp, can't it?"

"Mm-hm," Ignatius said. "Has to. It's both a driller and a freighter. The driller module detaches from the freighter module and operates only on impulse, but when it's attached, both modules, together, can travel at warp."

"You want me to learn how to handle warp engines. As if it's dead easy. Ignatius, that is utterly terrifying."

"Yeah, it is, if you stop to think about it. But I learned a trick while studying fluid dynamics in school. If you tell yourself that something is easy, it'll be a lot easier."

"That does not work with me!" Purulence exclaimed.

"Sure, it can," Ignatius said. "Don't be afraid to fail."

"I'm not afraid to fail; I know I'll fail!"

"What I'm trying to say is, failing is not the end of the world. You just read the directions once more, then go back and try again until you succeed. Come on, you didn't learn to paint overnight, did you?"

Purulence shook her head. "Of course not; it took two-and-a-half decades, and I'm still learning."

"Well, that's what I'm saying. This is just like drawing, but you're drawing a line in space that goes up and down and around. That line is the course you lay in. The paintbrush you draw that line with has bristles, and those bristles include some math, some maneuvering techniques, some piloting law, some safety regulations. But it's your paintbrush. If you can paint the way I know you can paint, you can learn to pilot."

"I...don't know, Ignatius. I do want to come out on this ship with you, but a pilot's license is a lot to study for."

"You hold that thought. I need to visit the head, and we can continue this stimulating discussion in a minute. I can put it on auto-pilot for at least that long," Ignatius said as he pressed a control on the pilot's console. "See you in a jiffy."

 

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