Resilience Reset, Part 1
Posted on Fri 16th Oct, 2020 @ 11:34pm by Lieutenant Damion Ildaran & Elizabeth Anderson M.D.
Edited on on Thu 22nd Oct, 2020 @ 6:00am
1,335 words; about a 7 minute read
Mission:
Denouement
Location: Dr. Elizabeth Anderson's apartment
Timeline: MD-3, 1800 hours
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
After leaving Deck 1440, Damion rode the tram down to Deck 1554, found a quiet spot under a tree that Elizabeth had showed him once, and then tapped his communicator as he gazed out at the pond. It was the dinner hour, so no passersby approached. Damion sank down onto the bench under the tree. "Ildaran to Elizabeth Anderson," he said in a low voice.
Lying across the love seat, head thrown back over one arm and feet propped on the other, ankles crossed, Elizabeth was letting her processors run. It was what amounted to day dreaming in humans, as near as she could define such things. The beep of her communications device pulled her out of the trance-like state, and she replied, "Elizabeth here. What's up?"
Damion let out a breath. Just hearing her voice was balm to his senses. "Do you have plans for this evening? I'd like to come see you, but I don't want to interfere with your evening, and this--will, if I come over." His lips twitched into a grimace at his muddled non-explanation.
With a smile in her voice, Anderson answered, "Damion, there are never any plans that can't wait while I spend time with you. Shall I whip up a double chocolate ice cream with raspberry sauce?"
"Honestly, I'd like to just be with you for a while, tell you about the day, and see if we can go to that Japanese garden afterward, if you wouldn't mind," Damion said. "I've no appetite right now."
"The monastery? I think we can do that," she agreed, checking the time. She became more serious, since his voice sounded ... odd. Stressed, yes, but more than that. There was sadness there, and maybe a tinge of anger, as well. "It's very peaceful there, and it sounds like you need to unwind. Shall I meet you downstairs in a few minutes?"
"I'm actually on Deck 1554, by the pond, so I can be right over," Damion said. "I'll be at your place in a few minutes. And--thank you, Elizabeth."
After he hung up, Anderson flipped around and put her feet on the floor. Her shoes were by the door, and she was ready to go, but wasn't clear on whether she ought to wait upstairs, or go down. In the end, she decided she would wait. It might be that Damion wanted a few minutes of private conversation. She wondered what he was doing in Tivoli Gardens during the evening hours, even early evening.
Damion headed toward the dance studio at a brisk walk, not wanting to keep Elizabeth waiting for him. He glanced about but didn't see her, so he went up to her office and let himself in. She wasn't in the lobby, either. He buzzed her intercom. "Elizabeth, I'm here."
"Be right there," she called, and almost immediately opened the door. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to meet you downstairs or not, so I just waited here, but I'm ready to go to the gardens, or you can come in and talk here for a while, whatever you'd like," she said, running a subtle scan of him. He was agitated, but he seemed physically all right.
Despite himself, Damion chuckled. "Were you waiting at the door?" He glanced about. "We can sit in here and talk, if you like. Save you a trip back upstairs."
Anderson smiled, "Maybe I was just a little interested in seeing you." Turning serious again, she added, "Damion, whatever you need is what we will do. I can tell you are ... stressed about something. Tell me what's best for you."
Damion let out a breath. "Honestly? Until you made me laugh just now, I wanted to come up here, put my arms around you, bury my face in your shoulder, and just let go. I--I can't do that in front of Graves." He in fact looked horrified at the idea.
"Even so, I'm of two minds about coming here, because we agreed to be friends, not counselor and patient, and I don't want to use you. The thing is, there's no one else I want to talk about this with. It's too awful. It's the investigation I've been working on."
Holding out her arms, she said, "Every friendship is counselor and patient from time to time, but whatever this is between us goes much deeper than that. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together."
For a moment, Damion didn't quite dare to believe that she had opened her arms to him and said what she had. The next moment, he was wrapping his arms around Elizabeth and shaking against her.
When he at last lifted his head to look at her, his eyes were wet and his voice sounded ragged. "I used to think I was some tough bruiser from Turkana IV, could handle anything. But this isn't the kind of evil I'm used to. This is beyond my comprehension." He shook his head. "I learned things today that I would never have imagined even in my worst nightmares back home. I used to think I was angry enough at the blaggard to kill him with my bare hands--and perhaps I still am. But now--" He exhaled. "This feeling of stunned disbelief comes over me. I canna understand the way of him."
"Oh. Are we talking about the files I showed you? Have you found more?" Elizabeth asked, anxious for him and knowing if it was difficult for her, it would be worse for a biological born with emotions that were now fully developed.
There was also the moral code. She hadn't been programmed with one, exactly, but she hadn't been programmed with a negative code, either, and had developed her own along the way, before she'd ever begun to develop other human traits. Anderson knew that Damion's moral code was well developed, as they'd discussed those things early in their relationship, when she actually was his counselor.
"The files you showed me--Dr. Addams had a look at them today. She seemed puzzled by them, perturbed. After we finished the day's round of interviewing Miss--our witness--Dr. Addams said she felt the time for keeping secrets was past--that one part of the investigation didn't know what the other part was doing and should know. So she showed me what 49-Alpha is. It's part of Deck 1440. It's been cordoned off with quarantine tape, and Dr. Addams will be alerted if anyone crosses the perimeter without permission. If you're able to go in through the sensors, you can take a look.
"From the exterior, you can tell some sort of explosion happened. The traces are faint; it's been cleaned up, but they're there. The area looks like a lab complex--offices, perfectly normal furniture, workstations--except for one particular room. It's empty now, but at one time, six biobeds were set up in it. Dr. Addams showed me a holographic image of what the room looked like when the explosion happened two years ago, and they discovered the place." Damion grimaced. "Dr. Addams said I was welcome to look as much as I could stand, and I guess she understood me better than I do myself, because it was rough."
"If you're dealing with it at all, you are an extraordinary human," Elizabeth said, taking his hand and leading him over to the sofa. "I already know that, but tell me what you're thinking ... feeling, and then we'll take a cleansing walk through the monastery gardens. I only know what I do through finding those files. A visual file would be ... far worse." She sat and pulled him down next to her, waiting for him to gather his thoughts and tell her what he needed to share in order to begin to heal from the things he'd seen and heard.
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