Kingfisher / Operation Lurky-Lurk

Posted on Mon 22nd Apr, 2019 @ 6:01pm by Captain Andrus Grax & Purulence Addams
Edited on on Sun 4th Sep, 2022 @ 12:08am

1,361 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: A Diplomatic Affair
Location: Harbor Area
Timeline: MD-01: 1400

The turbolift doors opened and Commodore Suzuki stepped out into the mezzanine level of the secure harbor area. Though it had been designed for diplomatic and other VIP use, it was entirely appropriate for the current usage -- an arriving Q-ship and its prey, a pirate cruiser the Commodore had been told was named Crimson Assurance. She was somewhat surprised to see her Chief Medical Officer and her sisters standing on the quay.

Captain Grax exited the turbolift a couple of steps behind the Commodore. As they strode towards the quay, he recognised the doctor who had checked him over when Falcon had first arrived, waiting for them, along with two civilians that he didn't know. He nodded to the doctor as they approached, but said nothing. Glancing at the other two ladies, he decided that, if he had a phaser to his head, he would be willing to swear that they were somehow related to the good doctor.

"Commodore," Doctor Addams drawled. "Congratulations are in order, I see. So... congratulations."

"Condolences would be more appropriate," Suzuki quipped, "but thank you." She glanced at the other two Addams sisters. She knew the one in red was an attorney, but knew next to nothing about the dark-complected one. What were the three of them doing here? She was distracted from the question by movement outside the transparisteel bulkhead as first one, and then a second ship entered the harbor area.

One of the ships was... or appeared to be... a K4 type freighter. Suzuki guessed that would be Kingfisher. The other was... Suzuki couldn't place it. A collection of tubes someone had been painted a shocking red. A kid with a rattle can would have done a better job, Suzuki thought. There were sensor booms folded back against the hull, and impulse engines mounted on outriggers to port and starboard -- Where was the warp drive? It must have one.

"What... is... that?" Suzuki managed to ask.

Grax arched an eyebrow. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that that's the Crimson Assurance," he replied without a hint of the obviously intended sarcasm.

"Astutely reasoned," Ischemia Addams said. She found the man somehow put her back up like an angry cat's. It was only partly his fault, because she was worried about her parents, and here to defend them, as much as anything. They probably didn't need it, but she was prepared anyway.

"It's the color of lipstick," Purulence Addams whispered to her sister. "I've never seen anything like that."

Suzuki simply shook her head silently. She had been able to connect the dots and figure the second vessel was Crimson Assurance just as the others had, but that wasn't the intent of her question. Saying so, however, would produce no meaningful information. She watched as first the freighter... USS Kingfisher... and then the mysterious Crimson Assurance were made fast to the pier and umbilicals were attached.

A squad of Marine Raiders in full and fully intimidating armor moved to the station end of Assurance's umbilical, waiting.

Inside the blood-red ship, Gloriana straightened her black flowing dress and folded her arms across her body, as she stood next to her husband. She glanced down at him and smiled. "Once more into the breach, my darling," she said, careful not to use French right at this moment.

Behind Captain Daggerbeard and his wife, Ignatius Collins let out a quiet breath. He glanced over at Witchy-Poo. They never had exchanged names. "My name's Ignatius," he said. "It's been good knowing all of you."

"Cookie," she answered with a smile. She looked like a completely different person -- gone was the stained bathrobe, the box of chocolate-dipped biscuit sticks, the pocket full of individually-wrapped flavored chewing wax. Her hair was clean, blonde, and slightly wavy, and in place of her soda-bottle lens glasses she'd apparently put in contact lenses. She looked more like a sexy librarian than a pirate. "Cookie Munster. Well, Cuckoo, but everyone calls me Cookie. Because I'm always eating." she mimed taking a big bite of something, and giggled like a little girl.

At the station end of the tunnel, the double-row of Marines in armor sorted the debarking pirates. An officer scanned each with facial and retina recognition, and indicated a direction. Those with a record for piracy to her right, those without to her left. "Captain Daggerbeard," she said, her voice dripping satisfaction as the Addamses approached.

The Captain smiled warmly, his pencil-thin moustache and eponymous narrow goatee lifting with the expression. "My fame proceeds me!" he cried happily.

"You are under arrest for Piracy," the Marine said.

"Oh?" Addams said. He pulled a slightly-greenish cigar out of his jacket pocket, clipped the end off. "What piracy is that?"

"We have records of nine different ships you have taken by force," the Marine answered.

Addams produced a lighter, puffed the cigar into life. "Really?" he asked. He looked around. "I don't recall taking any ships by force, do you, darling?" The pirates in the 'previously convicted' group caught on at once, and began shaking their heads and looking like ice cream would not melt in their mouths.

"Of course not, my darling," said his tall, thin wife. "What would be the fun in that?" She turned her eyes on the Marine. "Force is too much like work."

"Every ship taken by Crimson Assurance under my command," Pubert Addams said with a proud smile, "was owned by Darkness Holdings, Limited Liability Corporation. Which means that they were owned by me." He paused. "Well. Us, really. I am the chairman and CEO of Darkness Holdings. My lovely and talented wife is the lead vice-president. Cousin Cookie..." He pointed the unlit end of the cigar at Witchy-Poo, "is our Chief Technology Officer. Over there..." he pointed to where his daughters waited with the station's command staff, "are our Chief Legal Officer, our Chief Medical Officer, and our Executive Director of Taste and Class. In fact, only two board members are not currently present -- Cousin Malice, who I'm sure will be along shortly, and..." He blinked, and looked back at the group on the quay. "Grandmama! When did you get here?"

Great-Grandmama Addams, previously unnoticed, spoke from behind Commodore Suzuki, her voice sounding as old and dehydrated as a Pharaoh's tomb. "Oh, a while ago."

There was some part of the very legal-minded Ischemia Addams who took pleasure in watching her father unfold his "plot" at the expense of those who thought they had the facts. It proved she was still an Addams, unblemished by the galaxy in which she lived and worked. Or maybe it simply satisfied the part of her which was remained anti-authority. A small smile on her face, she was happy to find out that it hadn't been annihilated.

She glanced at Prudence and whispered, "Taste and Class? Really?"

Purulence shrugged. "'Executive Director of Neuroesthetics' didn't sound as fun to him."

"If anything, Captain," Ignatius Collins said to Captain Sharpe, "this couple and their team rescued me from pirates after said pirates shot my mining craft to so much space junk. I was kept in the brig until they found me."

"Now that this little ... contretemps is cleared up," Gloriana said imperiously, "we have more important matters to discuss ... with your Intel officer ... and without you," she dismissed the Marines with a sniff.

Grax raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure why he had been dragged into this ... whatever this was. "It's okay, Captain," he said, glancing at Sharpe, who was leading the marine contingent. "I can take it from here." He turned to Commodore Suzuki, "With your permission?"

"Of course," Suzuki answered, distracted. She had two questions in her mind: How had the old woman snuck up behind her, and 'Cousin Malice'? Surely that wasn't such a common name... Kingfisher's skipper, Malice Frump, had been in the know about this plot? Fascinating. "Captain Sharpe, the group with previous warrants gets detained for twenty-four hours on review." She looked at the middle Addams sister, the attorney. "If there are no outstanding warrants, we'll release them tomorrow."

 

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