Counselor's Personal Log: A Whinging Session

Posted on Sat 14th Jul, 2012 @ 6:10am by Commander Paul Graves PsyD

555 words; about a 3 minute read

(Written before Paul has dinner with Brian.)

At the moment, I am feeling...quite wound up, as my father would say.

I've not even been on this station for five hours, and already, I am feeling caught up in a possible romantic entanglement--and it's my own bloody fault. My stupid, craptastic psi-shielding!

I allowed Brian Windsong to notice I find him good-looking. When he confronted me with it, I naturally confirmed his observation, as it was true. But I also caught a bit of emotion from him that I didn't expect. He was...interested.

I do not want to get in bed with the man; I don't know him. Give me some time, and I might very well be more than interested, but not today, not tonight. Except he's invited me to dine with him this evening, and he hinted at wanting more afterward.

I'm overreacting to a ridiculous degree, I know. A large part of it is simply anxiety at the thought of disrupting the psychic ambience of this station. I have to work with these people; they have to be able to trust me and my judgment. If I immediately get into a romantic relationship with someone I barely know...It wouldn't impress me as being responsible or reliable if I observed someone else doing it--and that's leaving aside for the moment all issues of professional ethics. That is its own clump of nettles.

Aside from all the romantic issues, Brian brought up concerns about the CO, Lt. Col. Drake. He thinks Drake is angry at Starfleet for some reason, possibly connected to his lover's death, and has the potential to let that anger get out of control.

I don't' know Drake well enough yet to express an opinion. Certainly, I'll observe. But he conducted himself civilly enough during the mission briefing. I don't know if Windsong saw something that really poses a problem or if he's projecting his own feelings on Drake. Brian himself has a few grief-related issues to work though, I think--which is another reason I feel cautious about entering into anything more than a platonic relationship with him for a bit.

Thankfully, the meeting with Lt. Nyx, the CMO, went much more smoothly. I think I'll like working with her, though I get the impression she'll be a firecracker on occasion. She and the Marine CO, Karikkar, are like a pair of lit fuses, or perhaps mutual catalysts would be a better description. The man is a bit of a stuffed-shrt, but he's a Vulcan. I've never before met a Vulcan who wasn't, at the core of it, sensible...though, judging from Karikkar's hot temper, he may have just broken the mold. Perhaps he's a member of some Vulcan subculture that does not embrace the teachings of Surak?

Anyway, enough of this. I have personnel files to study and appointments to set. I'll have to engage an aide for appointment-scheduling and record-keeping; there are only so many hours in the day.

Hm, a message from Windsong. He wants me to meet him at the holodeck for dinner? I presumed it was going to be just, you know, casual? Something on the Promenade, maybe? Well, at least he says to dress casually.

I guess I'll see where this leads. Must tread carefully.

Lt.(jg) Paul Graves
Chief Counselor
SB Protector

 

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